Perceptions [TM Challenge]

[.livejournal.com]

Perception: Generally speaking, how do you think others perceive you?

Angry, sallow, scowling, cruel, vindictive, petty, greasy, sneering, gaunt, loathing, ugly, cold, intelligent, sneaky, slippery, dark, insane, selfish, callous, intolerant, unhappy, evil, spiteful...

Death Eater ... cold blooded murdered and traitor.

Oh, Severus knew all the words attached to his person. Only too well, in fact. Most had been said directly to his face, many had been evident in the eyes of people, when they looked at him, and some he had gleaned from their minds. They were right, for the most part. He was the majority of those things.

He just didn't care anymore.

Because he knew a few people who perceived him differently. Who bothered to look past the facade and dared to challenge him to be a different man. A man who actually was able to smile, to love, to care... and those people were the only ones that mattered.

True, he had killed one of them. In cold blood even, at least in the exact moment the curse had left his wand. But even in killing Albus, where he'd confirmed - once more - all those negative traits people believed him made up of, he had acted out of loyalty and love. And he would do it again.

So yes, peoples' perceptions about him were mostly correct, but they had in no way the full picture. And they never would have.

Wordcount: 225

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[kirill-72.livejournal.com]

Severus.

*tiny smile*

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[sev-ensnared.livejournal.com]

*inclines head slightly, also with a small smile*

Kirill. How are you faring?

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[kirill-72.livejournal.com]

Well.

*merest hint of fond exasperation*

Remus is readying shop. He refuses to let me hire help for renovations.

*moves a little closer*

And you, Severus? How are you?

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[sev-ensnared.livejournal.com]

*smile turns amused*

Remus is a very stubborn man and used to doing things for himself. I assume he enjoys the work very much.

*doesn't move and looks into Kirill's eyes*

I am well. Things (and he doesn't bother with explaining what 'things' is, because Kirill most likely knows) have calmed down significantly, enabling me to focus more on my laboratory and research.

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[kirill-72.livejournal.com]

*proud*

Enjoys, yes, and takes satisfaction that it is his achievement.

*reaches a hand out to run his thumb over Severus's cheekbone*

Good.

*leans in slowly, signalling his intention of kissing Severus, giving the man time to back away*

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[sev-ensnared.livejournal.com]

*nods, knowing that Remus will take pride in something he's done on his own.*

He will, yes...

*trails off as Kirill touches him gently and leans in. There's no doubt about Kirill's intenstion as he gets closer. But Severus isn't sure what he thinks of it. And how to react. Objectively ... this is not Remus. Remus is not even here. Subjectively ... he sees nothing in Kirill's eyes other than ... interest. And then he realises he's hesitated too long, as Kirill's lips meet his in a soft small kiss.*

What was that for?

*asked with a touch of surprise and also amusement. He is still not backing away. Severus Snape doesn't back away from anything.*

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[kirill-72.livejournal.com]

*slips a hand around the nape of Severus's neck*

Guess.

*leans in - this time this kiss is more insistent*

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[sev-ensnared.livejournal.com]

Hm... *the contemplative sound is swallowed by the kiss. A more demanding kiss, but Severus is still somewhat unsure about his own reactions. He enjoys the kiss, the taste, the sensation... and it reminds him, only too well. As does the feel of Kirill's hip beneath his hand, the fingers against his own neck. Severus draws out of the kiss to look into Kirill's eyes. His lips are curled into a slight smirk.*

I have never been much for guessing, Kirill...

*although the answer is much clearer to him, than he openly wants to admit*

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[kirill-72.livejournal.com]

Fond laughter flicker's through Kirill's eyes.

"Shall I spell it out?"

He slips his other arm around Severus's waist, pulling the other man closer.

"We've missed you."

Kirill holds Severus's head still as he deepens the kiss, gentle, but insistent.

"I've missed you."

When he

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[sev-ensnared.livejournal.com]

These are words he's used to hearing from Remus, but not Kirill. In fact, it's a sentiment he's not considered in connection with the man. The kiss and close physical contact between them is distracting him from truly considering much of anything though.

"You have? I shall endeavour to visit Remus and you more often then..." He smirks slightly. Of course, he hasn't been there since after Remus' last full moon without the potion.

"Potter still lives with you, I presume?" It has been a while since he has heard about the boy. From both sides of the war. Which isn't truly a war. More of a slow moving sloth of menace and malicious intent.

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[kirill-72.livejournal.com]

"You should."

Kirill brushes his lips across Severus's, then nibbles lightly, before his tongue seeks entrance yet again.

"Yes. But he has own floor. Does not interrupt."

Snugging their hips together, Kirill lets Severus know the extent of his attraction to Severus, and Severus alone.

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[sev-ensnared.livejournal.com]

Severus' eyebrow quirks slightly as Kirill moves even closer, clearly aroused. His body is reacting very favourably to the kisses and closeness, but his mind can't allow this to go further. Not without Remus.

He knows both Remus and Kirill engage in sex outside of their relationship, but he cannot, however strange he imagines they think that is. He loves Remus, is 'in love' with him. He is attracted to Kirill, very much so, and finds he does care for the man on an unexpected level. But he does not love him.

He reaches up and cups Kirill's face to gain a bit of control over the situation as well. There is a light smile on his lips.

"Very good. I will visit very soon then... whenever it might be convenient for you." he still finds the concept of simply 'dropping by' foreign.

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[kirill-72.livejournal.com]

Kirill smiles back, respecting Severus's restraint, not pushing the man further.

"Any morning before nine. Any evening after eleven."

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[sev-ensnared.livejournal.com]

"Are you turning nocturnal, Kirill?" Severus asks, lightly amused. He suspects it's Kirill's work keeping him out of house otherwise.

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[kirill-72.livejournal.com]

Kirill smirks, "We told Harry he cannot stop by without warning after eleven."

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[sev-ensnared.livejournal.com]

Severus chuckles "Clever, although I would have expanded that particular limitation to last around the clock."

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[kirill-72.livejournal.com]

Kirill's gaze heats at the sound of Severus's husky laugh, but he doesn't move closer - or back off further.

"He must always knock."

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[sev-ensnared.livejournal.com]

"Ah," Severus sees the effect he has on Kirill, and it's fascinating, truth be told.

"But would he wait for acknowledgement, or just wander in after knocking?" he arches an eyebrow. Potter has never been a master of decorum.

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[kirill-72.livejournal.com]

"Wait." Kirill smirks, "he's learned if he does not, he will see that which he does not wish to see."

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[sev-ensnared.livejournal.com]

A tiny twinge of jealousy goes through Severus, over what Kirill has that Severus cannot have. A daily life with Remus, falling asleep with the man and waking up with him. Eating with him, spending lazy afternoons (although that is still an alien concept to Severus) simply talking ... or doing nothing at all... just knowing that Remus is there, lives there.

But it is gone as quickly again, removed by his rational mind that tells him there is nothing to gain from such feelings. It is, how it is and more precisely, how it can be.

The smirk on his lips doesn't falter. He is still a master of masking his inner thoughts and feelings after all. In that he can take pride.

"I have always known the boy has little to no appreciation of the ... finer things in life."

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[kirill-72.livejournal.com]

Kirill stares at Severus's lips for a long moment, then smiles into the man's eyes.

"I do not mind privacy.....from him."

Severus, now that's another story, as Kirill's look makes perfectly clear.

Yes, he's back to flirting.

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[sev-ensnared.livejournal.com]

"I didn't think you would." Severus is very aware of Kirill's feelings in this matter, and the heat in the man's eyes only confirms it.

In a strange place inside him, he can understand what Remus sees in Kirill, what has made Remus fall in love with him.

You are really not that different, are you Severus?

With slight surprise, he realises his hand has not move away from where it's resting against Kirill's face. It's warm from the contact, comfortable.

You are a strange man, Severus. But he lived in a strange world, so it was all ... good?

"You and Remus are of course welcome to visit my home as well. At any time." He held weird hours and more often than not simply forgot sleeping.

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[kirill-72.livejournal.com]

Kirill smiles in delighted surprise at Severus's offer.

"May I ask where you live?"

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[sev-ensnared.livejournal.com]

Severus doesn't know why he's thought Kirill already knows the address. From Remus.

Remus would never tell anybody at all, unless Severus had permitted it. Severus knows that.

"Cortelyou Road 145, Brooklyn." It's a small and fairly secluded house, but to keep suspicious gazes away from it without active and constant use of magic, he's delved into something he's never thought he would... Magical house maintenance. Too make the house seem in order and lived in. At least on the outside.

Of course, since he's spent more and more time there, it is actually inhabited most of the time now. The cellar mostly, though. His laboratory.

"Remus can Apparate in directly."

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[kirill-72.livejournal.com]

"Okay."

Kirill gives Severus a small, almost loving smile. He knows the magnitude of the information, the degree of trust that Severus has gifted him, by telling him his home address.

"Thank you."

For so many things. Kirill doesn't need to specify. The other man knows.

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[sev-ensnared.livejournal.com]

Severus inclines his head slightly. He's aware of the multitude of risks he's exposing himself to, by revealing that address to anybody but Remus.

But Kirill has also known of his identity and presence here in the US for a long while. And Remus' presence even longer.

And the look in the man's eyes leaves no doubt that this specific morsel of fact won't go any further.

Unless they take him... But that's never going to happen, of that he will make sure. For many reasons, not all of them concerning his own security.

"You're welcome." It has been a long, strange journey, getting here.