[identity profile] .livejournal.com posting in [community profile] sev_ensnared_mirror
The pain in his arm wouldn't ease off. He knew it would soon since the meeting was over, but the knowledge didn't make it any easier. It never did.

This is nothing compared to Remus' pain. He reminded himself, finally knowing that pain after observing it and ... almost feeling it, watching Remus writhe and scream with it that night and the morning after.

But this was his pain, and pain was a subjective matter. In this case even more so, as it symbolised more than a simple physical discomfort. And this was not something he could share with anybody else. It was not a visible transformation or disfiguration that would lend understanding to others, a way for others to visualise what it might be like.

This was just black lines on pale skin, almost seeming innocuous to those who didn't know the deeper implications of the symbol or the magic bound within it. The life bound within it. And death...

With a soft disgusted snort he rose from his chair and moved into the lab. Working would take his mind off the deep feeling of loneliness that suddenly befell him. That always came to him when the mark burned and cut into him, pointing out just how alone he was, standing in the middle between two fronts.

Remus would understand. But Remus didn't need to see him in this state. Nobody did.

"Pity is for the weak, Severus. You are not weak." he berated himself as he looked at the list of potions Madam Pomfrey needed. He had no time for such foolishness. The pain would fade

WC: 268

Date: 2005-06-12 08:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kaycee-jazz.livejournal.com
*hugs him gently, despite him remaining stiff as a board*

Date: 2005-06-13 11:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sev-ensnared.livejournal.com
*doesn't move and is not quite sure if he finds this a too 'familiar' gesture or if he should simply accept it*

Meta! (forgot to put this in first one!)

Date: 2005-06-14 12:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kaycee-jazz.livejournal.com
*steps back so as not to make him any more uncomfortable*
You're right, pain is subjective, and each bears theirs the best they can. Or not.
From: [identity profile] sev-ensnared.livejournal.com
*nods, a small wry smile on his lips* This is true. Old pains become easier to bear over time, but no less painful for that. It just becomes a part of you and who you are.
From: [identity profile] kaycee-jazz.livejournal.com
And sadly, in some instances, can colour... or discolour the way that person views things, be it the world around them, or their own selves.
From: [identity profile] sev-ensnared.livejournal.com
Or both... But mostly this is unavoidable to a certain degree. We are who we are, due to our experiences. And pain is a strong experience, especially if there is no way to alleviate it.
From: [identity profile] kaycee-jazz.livejournal.com
And a decidedly powerful 'teacher' too.

Date: 2005-06-14 12:27 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] moonyblues.livejournal.com
Remus knocks on the door to Severus' quarters. He's even put on his robes. He doesn't want to look any more out of place than he already does. only because someone might recognize him, and wearing Muggle clothes would just make him more noticeable. As it is, he walks at a normal pace with his head a little bit down.

No one says anything to him.

He hasn't seen Severus since the full moon. They've not even talked, since. Nothing has been worked out. But he wants to see him, to talk to him. So, he'd come here to feel things out. To see if a few days reflection has made any difference in Severus' decision.

He waits, somewhat nervously, for Snape to come to the door.

Date: 2005-06-14 12:41 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sev-ensnared.livejournal.com
Severus looks up from his work of grinding scarabs into a fine powder. Who would disturb him at this hour?

He puts down the pestle, hoping it won't be Albus. He's not sure he wants to deal with the Headmaster right now, before he's fully considered the information he gathered at the meeting. Before the pain has waned.

Clenching his fist lightly in a vain attempt to force the discomfort away, he goes to the door and then opens it. He's slightly surprised, but pleasantly so. He's not expected to see Remus just yet.

Hoped?

"Remus," He smiles faintly and steps back to allow the man inside. But was it a good idea, now? He knows himself well enough to know he's prone to be less than agreable company in this state.

Date: 2005-06-14 01:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] moonyblues.livejournal.com
Remus smiles a little.

"Severus."

He walks inside and waits for Snape to close the door.

"I brought you some dark chocolate. If you don't like it, I will wonder what planet you're from. But, you can always keep it here for me, for when I visit."

He hands the bag to Severus. Inside are several bars of very good Honeydukes dark chocolate.

He doesn't move to sit, just yet. He isn't sure whether to make a physical overture, or not. He needs to ascertain the other man's mood, first. And that can be tricky, with Severus.

Date: 2005-06-14 10:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sev-ensnared.livejournal.com
Slightly startled by the unexpected gesture, Severus reaches out and takes the bag. He doesn't look into it, quite assured that the quality would be excellent. If anybody knows about chocolate, it would be Remus.

"Thank you, I'm sure I'll enjoy it." Setting the bag down on the desk, he realises his left fist is still clenched in an subconscious effort to keep the pain at bay so Remus won't notice. He consciously relaxes the hand as he crosses over to Remus. The man still looks exhausted from the full moon and as Severus stops in front of him, he wonders if he used the strengthening potions.

Severus presses a light kiss against Remus' lips, admitting to himself he's missed him, missed touching him, talking to him. "How are you feeling?"

Date: 2005-06-15 07:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] moonyblues.livejournal.com
Remus smiles a little at the thanks. He had hoped Severus would like it.

Then, the kiss, and Remus relaxes, his arms going around the other man's neck. He shrugs dismissively.

"I'm alright. You know me. I'll manage. I think the potions helped a little, but...Not much, really. I think they metabolized too quickly to have more than a fleeting effect."

Remus nuzzles Severus' neck and inhales. He'd thought he scented something off, but now, he's sure of it. He looks at his lover with concern.

"Are you alright, Severus?"

Date: 2005-06-15 08:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sev-ensnared.livejournal.com
Severus decides he'll have to look further into the effects of strenghtening potions for Remus. Not something that has been on his mind before now. He tilts his head slightly as Remus' nuzzles against it, enjoying the sensation and the distraction.

Then that question. So Remus has noticed something after all.

"Yes, I'm quite fine." he replied calmly. He was, he was used to this. He didn't need to have Remus worrying about something like that.

Date: 2005-06-15 08:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] moonyblues.livejournal.com
Remus sighs a little against Severus' neck.

"My nose doesn't lie, Severus. But...Whatever you say."

He moves his fingers along the back of Snape's neck, massaging gently.

"I've missed you." He smiles ruefully. "I know, it's only been a few days. But, even so."

Date: 2005-06-15 09:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sev-ensnared.livejournal.com
Severus draws slightly back to look at Remus, but not too far. Those fingers at his neck feel too good... relaxing.

"Your nose?" He frowns slightly, then he realises. Bloody heightened werewolf senses. "Ah yes, of course." He looks intently at Remus, but he can't see anything but what Remus says. That the man has missed him...

"You're here now." He relaxes the frown, the small smile faintly wry. He's thought extensively of Remus the last couple of days, worried, wondered if he should contact him, been angry with himself for being so ... unsure. And of course Remus would come just when his mark is acting up.

Admit it, you're glad he's here. He is, but expressing openly is not something that comes easily to him.

"It's good to see you, Remus," he continues, his smile turning more warm.

Date: 2005-06-15 09:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] moonyblues.livejournal.com
Remus gazes back at Severus, just to see him. He had really missed him.

It's depressing to think that even when he's with Kirill, he misses Severus. And when he's with Severus, he misses Kirill. But that's how it is. How it will be. And it's his own fault.

The fondness in Severus' smile is obvious, and Remus smiles back more openly.

"It's good to be seen." He keeps his fingers on his lover's neck, moving firmly. "Is there anything I can do?"

He knows there's something wrong, and he won't press it, won't ask what it is. But if he can help, he wants to.

Date: 2005-06-15 09:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sev-ensnared.livejournal.com
You can cut the mark away?

Childish, Severus, he berated himself and shook his head. Even if that was possible, without extensive damage to his arm and muscles - something that was simply unacceptable - it would still not truly remove the mark. The largest part of its magic was inside him, a part of him.

"It will pass." He raises his right hand to curl around Remus' neck and pulls him into a kiss.

Date: 2005-06-15 10:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] moonyblues.livejournal.com
Remus doesn't have time to respond before he's being kissed, but that's alright. He'd rather kiss Severus, anyway. He does wich he could do something, but...Severus is a private person. He can't expect him to just tell him what's wrong. Maybe he will, someday. But if not, that's okay, too.

So, Remus kisses back, sliding his tongue into Severus' mouth to lick gently, still moving his fingers over his lover's neck.

Date: 2005-06-16 07:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sev-ensnared.livejournal.com
Severus gives a soft hum of pleasure. This is a far better distraction than work, distancing the pain. Although he will have to continue with the scarabs soon, else it will be too late to add them to the almost done pepper-up potion Pomfrey needs.

But he can enjoy the kiss and Remus' touches for a bit longer, his own tongue meeting his lover's almost languidly, his hand sliding up into the soft hairs at Remus' neck.

Date: 2005-06-19 01:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] moonyblues.livejournal.com
Remus melts against his lover, leaning into him, kissing him slowly, enjoying it too much to pull away just yet.

Finally he has to, though. He looks up and smiles fondly at Severus.

"Is it okay if I hang around here, for a while? I'll stay out of your way. I just wanted to see you."

Date: 2005-06-20 01:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sev-ensnared.livejournal.com
"Yes, if you don't mind me working." Severus replies with a low voice. For a moment he's tempted to let the Pepper-up potion batch go bad and instead continue touching Remus. A far better remedy for the pain

And the loneliness?

than work... or any number of numbing potions he's always fought hard to avoid under any circumstances. Starting down that road would potentially lead to weakness, dependency...

He flinched lightly as he raised his left arm to rest his hand on Remus' hip, but instantly covered that expression with a faint smirk "You can always help." There were always flobberworms to cut.

Date: 2005-06-22 06:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] moonyblues.livejournal.com
Remus smiled softly and kissed Severus once more before letting him go and wandering over to a chair.

He sat, drawing his knees up to his chest and wrapping his arms around them.

"I don't mind you working. I love to watch you. Your hands, the little line between your eyes when you concentrate. The sneer when something annoys you. Something other than me, that is."

He shrugs and grins wider.

"Don't really feel the need to help, though, unless you just want me to. May not be able to keep my hands to myself, though, if I'm within groping distance."

Date: 2005-06-23 09:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sev-ensnared.livejournal.com
Severus watches Remus make himself comfortable ... and at home, here. Something he would have sworn would never happen. Not with Remus, not with anybody.

"Lazy too..." Severus shakes his head lightly "If you want to watch me, you'll however have to move your lazy corpus out of that chair and into the laboratory, since I do my work there." Yes, this will be a better distraction. The pain is still there and notable, but not as attention consuming as before.

Severus smirks at Remus, then brushes past him and into the laboratory without further words.

Date: 2005-06-24 01:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] moonyblues.livejournal.com
"Bother," Remus mutters, then gets up and follows. "I'd just gotten comfortable."

But, not really. He's never comfortable in robes. So, he takes it off. He's got a white t-shirt and jeans underneath, so it's okay. He throws the robe on a nearby chair, then sits on it, curling his legs under him.

"There we go. Now I can sit and watch and criticize whenever you don't chop evenly enough."

Date: 2005-06-25 08:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sev-ensnared.livejournal.com
Severus narrows his eyes and glances over at Remus. A quite delectable sight.

"You will have to wait a long time then, don't you Remus?" he says with a small mock scowl. They both know there are no faults in how he prepares ingredients for potions.

"Are you sure you'll not be bored over there?" He looks back down, flipping through his work journal, finding the exact page he needed. Not that he truly needs it, the brewing instruction firmly embedded in his memory. But it is always good for reference.

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