Going to Grimmauld Place

[.livejournal.com]

After an unexpectedly but still frustratingly futile discussion with Dumbledore, Severus found himself with an armful of documents and maps, meant for Lupin.

The simple fact that he was going to Diagon Alley to stock up on some of the rarer items in his stock should not be reason enough for Dumbledore to simply assume it would be no bother at all to make a small detour to Grimmauld Place, and hand these files over to Lupin for further examination.

He wasn't a bloody messenger boy.

Dumbledore merely looked over the rim of his glasses at that remark and told Severus to please give his warmest regards to Lupin, accompanied with one of those obnoxiously knowing looks. He was sure the old wizard knew somehow, about Lupin's small visit and the almost polite conversation they'd had. And true to form, Dumbledore would most probably mistake it for something it wasn't. Old fool.

With a snort he left the headmasters office and shrunk the files on his way down the stairs. An owl would have been sufficient, but no... it had to be him. As if he had so much time, he could waste it on dallying about like this.

After making his purchases at Slug and Jiggers, he apparated directly to Grimmauld Place, taking a moment to look at the foreboding structure before he went to the door to knock. He could have flooed, but he really didn't enjoy travelling in such a manner. Now he could only wait and see if Lupin was there at all.

Comments

[sev-ensnared.livejournal.com]

This time it was Severus' turn to be surprised. It was the second time, in all the years he had known Lupin, that the man had hinted at his sexual preferences.

And both times had occured within the last week.

This had also not been a hint. This had been a very blunt statement, leaving no doubts at all, no room for guessing as Lupin had said himself.

Why? He wondered again. Why would Lupin have an interest in sharing that rather personal piece of information with Severus Snape?

Did Lupin know about Severus' personal preferences?

Which brought him right back to 'why?'.

And combined with this strange behaviour, Lupin's odd reactions, his sudden interest in Severus' company...

Was Lupin trying to make advances, in a slightly convoluted way? That made no sense.

Why not? Severus would not get into that particular discussion with himself. He would also not go into the fact that he was ... intrigued by the thought.

He was mostly focusing on the conviction, that he was seeing thing which were not there and he should consider what made him want outside company at all, and not only Lupin's.

"I will adjust it, if I need to." He made himself comfortable in his chair, crossing one leg over the other.

[moonyblues.livejournal.com]

"Good." Remus picked up a map and started studying it. "Try to keep it to a 'virtuous non believer' level. Or maybe 'lustful', just on the outside. But, if it goes down to 'repenting believers,' I'll get chilled again and have to up it."

This map had no information of any use that Remus could see. He sighed and set it on the desk, crouching over it to look again, nose practically touching the parchment, the features on the map were so small.

"If he keeps sending me maps with such tiny writing, I'll need reading glasses by the time I'm forty."

[sev-ensnared.livejournal.com]

A lustful level...

Severus had no response to that, so he stayed quiet, still watching Lupin.

The fire was warmer than was strictly comfortable, but he had endured worse by far.

Lupin's next words had him wonder if the man was actually paying full attention to what he was doing. He rose and went over to the desk, then leaned over Lupin's shoulder and studied the map as well.

"A magnifying charm should be helpful..." He pulled out his wand, tapped the square area on the map, Lupin was currently scrutinizing and intoned, "Tabula Amplificoare" The text and the features in that specific square where magnified to double size, pushing the other squares to the side and shrinking them lightly, but still keeping them in the correct order.

[moonyblues.livejournal.com]

Remus smiled a little and turned his head.

Merlin, he's so close...

"Uhm, thanks. I think I lived with Muggles for too long, or something."

He should have known such a charm, but the thought hadn't even occurred to him.

[sev-ensnared.livejournal.com]

Severus turned his head and looked at Lupin, who was closer than he .. should be.

"I suppose you have. You simply move the magnification with a simple movere" he used this charm often after all, to decipher old and finely scribed scrolls when he was doing research.

He looked back at the map and set his wand against the magnified square, then muttered "Movere." and dragged the magnifying charm over the map to the next square.

With that he straightened up, suddenly highly aware of Lupin's scent and the warmth coming from his body, even through the layers of his clothes, even in the already warm room.

"You're quite welcome."

[moonyblues.livejournal.com]

Remus tried hard not to react to Snape's nearness. It was a bit of a struggle; the man smelled amazing. Potion ingredients, most likely. Along with something else specific to him, something that everyone had but was always a little different for each person.

Severus' 'something' was...Really something.

"Feel like a bit of an idiot, not knowing this already."

He did, too. But he had always been on the very conservative side when it came to using magic for everyday things. He was just glad he'd said something about the type being so small before he'd actually taken out a magnifying glass. Snape would probably have snickered at him for such a thing.

He looked up to Snape and smiled, the expression lingering for a moment too long before he looked back to his map.

[sev-ensnared.livejournal.com]

Severus was just about to comment on Lupin feeling like an idiot, when he was silenced by that smile.

There it was again, that... wonder. Why was Lupin acting like this, and why was he inclined to return that smile.

Only when Lupin looked away, averting that smile, did Severus find the words again, albeit not as sarcastic as intended originally.

"Well, who am I to correct you in your selfassessment..." He chuckled lightly as he stepped away, returning to his chair.

[moonyblues.livejournal.com]

Remus had heard such things from Snape far too often for it to bother him. He's heard a lot worse, actually, and said in much nastier tones. He'd always been able to take it in a good humor. Well, most of the time. A few of Snape's comments had hit too close to home, had made him angry enough to have to force himself to not react. This one though...The delivery was lacking.

Almost amiable. Or, as amiable as Snape ever sounded.

"Humm, well, I assume your question is rhetorical. But, in the interests of annoying you for my own childsish amusement, I'll answer it."

He grinned up at Snape for a moment before going on, looking the map over as he spoke.

"Aside from Albus, you probably know me better than anyone in the world. And what that says about my social skills, I don't even want to contemplate."

It was true, though. Remus had become friends, of a sort, with Harry. But he'd kept his distance even with him, as he did with everyone. Remus just wondered how he'd ever let himself become so close to James, Peter, and Sirius. But then, he knew that the resolutions of those relationships had only made him less likely to form such attachments in the future.

But Snape had been around, even then. And Remus had always felt an odd sort of fascination with him. He should have defended the other boy when his friends had made sport of him. But he hadn't...And part of the reason he hadn't had been that he didn't want his friends to think it was an indication of anything, of his odd sort of interest in the other boy.

He was ashamed of that, now. But somehow, he didn't think Snape would appreciate it being brought up, even in the context of an apology.

[sev-ensnared.livejournal.com]

The layer of lonelyness Severus sensed under Lupin's words resonated inside him. He refused to feel sorry for the man though, just as he refused to feel sorry for himself. They had both chosen how they wanted to lead their lives out from the conditions of their lives.

"Social skills are mostly concerned entirely with convincing others that you are somebody else, so people might take a liking in what they see. I prefer to show who I am. Then it's up to people if they want my acquaintance. Whether that constitutes impaired social skills or not, holds no importance to me." Severus' voice clearly reflected that he meant what he said.

Lupin seemed to want his acquaintanca and company though, no matter that he mostly saw a more negative side of Severus' personality. Which spoke more in favour of the man than Severus truly wanted to contemplate at the moment. Lupin was far more pleasant, generally, and was more likely to strike a cord of interest with people. Severus had never understood why the man insisted on not socialising more.

A conscious choice or insecurity? Or both?

[moonyblues.livejournal.com]

"Oh, I don't think your social skills are impaired," Remus said with a smile at Snape. "Mine aren't, either, really. All I meant is I tend to talk quite a bit while actually saying very little."

He looked the map over and marked a couple of things down.

He wondered why he had volunteered this information. He felt far too at ease with Snape lately, and he wasn't sure if he wanted to examine why too closely.

[sev-ensnared.livejournal.com]

"Hmm..." Severus tilted his head slightly, looking at Remus. This conversation was slightly strange, unlike any other they'd had over the years.

"That might be so, although that is the mark of small talk, isn't it? You talk without really saying anything of consequence, but merely for the conversation's sake, for the company?" The truth was a bit too close to home, since he wasn't in the habit of small talk at all, and had found himself doing exactly that, with Lupin, on several occasions now.

[moonyblues.livejournal.com]

Remus nodded, a bit distracted by something odd on the map. He marks it down for Albus to look at, then turns to look at Snape.

"Yes, I suppose so. Odd to think it's what I've been doing all of my life, though." He turned back to the map. "All show, no substance," he muttered. "Sort of pitiful, really," he smiled and moved on to another section of the map.

[sev-ensnared.livejournal.com]

Severus didn't agree. Lupin had substance and there was much more to the man than met the eye. History had proven that again and again.

But going into that discussion would potentially open up for other subjects he might not want to discuss.

"Don't judge yourself too harshly, Lupin. There are plenty who are willing to do that job for you. As there are for us all..." And there he went anyway. Ah well. But that was true.

[moonyblues.livejournal.com]

Remus smiled oddly at Snape, bemused and a little perplexed.

"Err, thanks. I didn't really mean I have no substance in relaity, I just meant that I don't show it in my conversation, usually. This is probably the deepest conversation I've had in months, for instance."

He looked back to his map.

"If you ever find you need someone to judge you, feel free to contact me. I'm critical with everyone, not just myself. I just don't offer those kind of opinions out loud. It's impolite."

[sev-ensnared.livejournal.com]

Severus chuckled lightly. He'd judged Lupin openly plenty of times and knew perfectly well how impolite it was. But those times he had been beyond caring. Lupin pushed... so many right, or rather wrong buttons at times. And so easily even. Severus wondered if he was so transparent to the other man, that Lupin knew exactly what to say and when to get a rise out of him.

Why would he do that?

"I will... you should do the same, but you know that already." He commented dryly, but with a hint of humour.

[moonyblues.livejournal.com]

Remus looked over and smiled openly at the other man.

"Yes, I think that's firmly in the 'Goes Without Saying' category, Severus."

He looked back to his map, but didn't really read it. He was too busy wondering why he felt this odd comeraderie with Snape, and why the other man was sticking around rather than just being rude then leaving.

[sev-ensnared.livejournal.com]

Severus met Remus' eyes as the man smiled. He didn't return it, but the unfamiliar urge was there.

It was time to leave, else ...

Else what, Severus? You'll feel too comfortable? You'll like it?

He frowned lightly and stared into the flames for a little while.

[moonyblues.livejournal.com]

Remus rolled up the map and sighed.

"One down."

He looked at the stack.

"Several to go."

He glanced over to Snape. The other man was looking at the fire.

"Are you hot, Severus?"

[sev-ensnared.livejournal.com]

Severus blinked out of his thoughts at Lupins' last words and looked at the man.

No, he would not see that as a double entendre although, it could be. Again, why would Lupin do that? It seemed unlikely.

"No, I'm quite comfortable, thank you. Do you...?" He could adjust the fire after all..

To lustful?

[moonyblues.livejournal.com]

Remus glanced distractedly over at Snape.

"Do I...? Do I what?"

[sev-ensnared.livejournal.com]

Severus realised what he had started to say before but really didn't think it would be a good idea to continue that sentence.

"Do you want me to lower the fire?" It was a bad save, he knew that. And Lupin might very well think the same.

[moonyblues.livejournal.com]

Remus looked at Snape and blinked. His tone had been a little odd.

"No, it takes a lot to make me hot."

Only after he said it did Remus realize how that sounded. He blushed a little and looked back to his map, trying to act nonchalant about it.

"No, I'm...I'm fine."

[sev-ensnared.livejournal.com]

Severus' eyebrows arched slightly at Lupin's words, which once more could be understood in several ways. And the light heat he noticed on the man's cheeks indicated that Lupin was aware of that himself. So the comment had been unintentionally in that respect.

Most likely.

"Good then," He felt restless, just sitting and watching Lupin work. There was no point in him staying here. Lupin obviously didn't need his help.

So, why are you here?

"I should get back to school," He rose from his chair, unwilling to deliberate the fact, that he was reluctant to leave.

[moonyblues.livejournal.com]

Remus looked up and blinked.

Snape was...Leaving? He found he didn't like that. He found that he liked the other man's presence, even if they weren't really interacting much, at all.

And that...Was weird. That made him think it was a good idea for Snape to leave, even though a large part of him frowned at the thought.

He got up and ran his hand through his hair.

"Right, I've kept you long enough. I'll, umm, walk you out, then."

He saw Snape to the door, but stopped before opening it.

He had an odd desire to kiss Snape goodbye.

Not odd for Remus to want to kiss people. He liked kissing people, a lot. His gaze drifted to Snape's mouth and he blinked a couple of times. He imagined how it would feel, would Severus' lips be soft, or rough, or...

Do you have a death wish?

"Umm."

Maybe he could just...Hug Snape goodbye?

Oh, you DO have a death wish.

"Hrmm."

Just open the door, Moron.

"Yes, right."

Now he will think you're crazy, talking to yourself like that.

"I mean, thanks for helping me with the map. My work will go faster, now."

But he didn't open the door quite yet.
Remus smiled and tried not to look flustered.

[sev-ensnared.livejournal.com]

He hadn't expected Lupin to show him out. He knew where the door was after all, he had used it often enough.

Silently he watched Lupin, noted on the different emotions that seemed to flit over the man's face. And, he was aware of the moment Lupin had looked at his lips. Severus caught himself before his own eyes could mirror that action.

Something was definitely disturbing the man's usual calm, something was causing him to more or less make a fool of himself.

And he's not opening the door.

No, Lupin wasn't really ready to let him go, it seemed. It puzzled and amused him. But deep down, in a place he didn't want to fully acknowledge, it pleased him as well. As did the effect he seemed to have on the man.

"You're quite welcome, Lupin." Severus nodded lightly, a faint smile on his lips as he looked into Remus' eyes. He didn't move though. Basically, he could open the door himself.

You should leave...