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sev_ensnared_mirrorSeverus had spent the prior night staring at ... the moon. It was full and the effect had been obvious - to him at least - in Remus, when he had come for the potion the day before.
He was still not sure this was a good idea. He knew himself well enough to know that he needed to do this, if he even contemplated going any further with ... whatever was between Remus and him.
Just the mere fact that he used the name, Remus and not Lupin, in his mind now was indicator enough for him that there was more than just a simple base physical attraction.
The ease with how the shift in his mind had occured also indicated there had been more for longer than he realised. Or was ready to realise.
But now he was going to face it full on. Remus in his werewolf form. He could still very vividly remember the last time he had seen that, and it was not a relished memory. He freely admitted - at least to himself - the fear he had felt then, both for his own safety, but also for the foolish children.
But this time... this time he would know if that fear was too great to overcome. The potion would ensure his safety, true, but that had no consequence at all when it came down to the irrational elements of the fear. The elements that stemmed both from stories and myths, and from what had happened so very many years ago, initiated by a stupid reckless schoolboy, prevented by another equally stupid schoolboy and paid for over and over again by a third. And that not entirely without Severus' fault, the last.
But Remus had moved beyond that, beyond what Severus had knowingly inflicted on the man through words and actions. So should Severus, since Remus' fault had only consisted of thoughtlessness. Grave and dangerous, but not intentional.
Yes, he had done a lot of thinking today, and most of it thoughts he had not touched for years, decades even. It had even affected his concentration in classes - thank the gods only 1st and 3rd years. But it had been thoughts that had needed to be worked through.
And now he was ready to leave. As ready as he could be. He wouldn't need much, really. Only a few toiletries and the potion, all of which were now gathered on his desk, the goblet covered with a temporary stasis spell to keep it fresh. That would only work for a couple of hours, but Remus would drink it before that.
He would need to apparate, the floo system simply too ... uneven to ensure the potion stayed in the goblet. Severus shrunk the toiletries and pocketed them, picked up the goblet, then left his chambers and with brisk determined strides he moved outside and beyond the anti-apparition wards of Hogwarts. He pulled out his wand and a few moments later, he reappeared outside Remus' door.
For a moment he had to simply breathe and refocus, the long distance apparition slightly disorientating and uncomfortable. Then he knocked and waited for Remus to answer the door.
He was still not sure this was a good idea. He knew himself well enough to know that he needed to do this, if he even contemplated going any further with ... whatever was between Remus and him.
Just the mere fact that he used the name, Remus and not Lupin, in his mind now was indicator enough for him that there was more than just a simple base physical attraction.
The ease with how the shift in his mind had occured also indicated there had been more for longer than he realised. Or was ready to realise.
But now he was going to face it full on. Remus in his werewolf form. He could still very vividly remember the last time he had seen that, and it was not a relished memory. He freely admitted - at least to himself - the fear he had felt then, both for his own safety, but also for the foolish children.
But this time... this time he would know if that fear was too great to overcome. The potion would ensure his safety, true, but that had no consequence at all when it came down to the irrational elements of the fear. The elements that stemmed both from stories and myths, and from what had happened so very many years ago, initiated by a stupid reckless schoolboy, prevented by another equally stupid schoolboy and paid for over and over again by a third. And that not entirely without Severus' fault, the last.
But Remus had moved beyond that, beyond what Severus had knowingly inflicted on the man through words and actions. So should Severus, since Remus' fault had only consisted of thoughtlessness. Grave and dangerous, but not intentional.
Yes, he had done a lot of thinking today, and most of it thoughts he had not touched for years, decades even. It had even affected his concentration in classes - thank the gods only 1st and 3rd years. But it had been thoughts that had needed to be worked through.
And now he was ready to leave. As ready as he could be. He wouldn't need much, really. Only a few toiletries and the potion, all of which were now gathered on his desk, the goblet covered with a temporary stasis spell to keep it fresh. That would only work for a couple of hours, but Remus would drink it before that.
He would need to apparate, the floo system simply too ... uneven to ensure the potion stayed in the goblet. Severus shrunk the toiletries and pocketed them, picked up the goblet, then left his chambers and with brisk determined strides he moved outside and beyond the anti-apparition wards of Hogwarts. He pulled out his wand and a few moments later, he reappeared outside Remus' door.
For a moment he had to simply breathe and refocus, the long distance apparition slightly disorientating and uncomfortable. Then he knocked and waited for Remus to answer the door.
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no subject
Date: 2005-06-08 08:42 pm (UTC)"Very well. As long as you trust him." He kissed Remus and slipped off the bed, moving over to his robe. "I'll return within half an hour with the potion." He slipped on the robe, but didn't button it.
no subject
Date: 2005-06-08 08:52 pm (UTC)"I'll...See you in a while, then."
no subject
Date: 2005-06-08 09:19 pm (UTC)Love?
sliding an arm around Remus' back. He kept it there as the kiss ended.
"You will." He kissed Remus again, and then reluctantly let go. Unless they wanted to cut time extremely close, he would have to leave now.
"Get some rest in the mean time." He decided he would bring along a few strengthening potions Remus would be able to take some time tomorrow, if he needed them. With that Severus left the bedroom and went downstairs, took the goblet on the table and then stepped over to the place he could apparate from.
Half an hour later, almost on the spot, he reappeared with a smoking goblet and a few vials clinking softly in his pocket.
no subject
Date: 2005-06-08 09:38 pm (UTC)He held his hand out to the other man, not moving from the bed.
no subject
Date: 2005-06-08 09:51 pm (UTC)"I brought a few strengthening potions," he picked them out of his pocket and placed them next to the goblet.
"You can take them tomorrow, after your first meal." He wasn't quite sure if they would help, while the wolfsbane still was in Remus' system, but it would at least not do any harm.
no subject
Date: 2005-06-09 03:55 pm (UTC)"Thank you. I'll give that a try."
He sat up in bed and picked up the goblet, grimacing in anticipation before swallowing it down. He shuddered a little and put the goblet back on the table.
"Thank you, Severus. You do too much for me, you know that?" He smiled up at his lover and moved his hand to stroke his cheek.
no subject
Date: 2005-06-10 06:56 pm (UTC)"You're quite welcome. I do what I want to do for you, Remus. So it can't be too much, before I decide it is." Which oddly enough didn't seem probably any time soon.
"Rest assured, I'll inform you if that happens," he continued with a light smirk, then leaned down to kiss Remus slowly. He didn't feel like leaving. Leaving Remus with somebody else. Somebody else Remus loved...
no subject
Date: 2005-06-10 10:42 pm (UTC)But he had to tell Severus to go. Kirill would be here any moment.
Finally they seperated and Remus sighed, running a hand through Severus' hair.
"You better go. I...You know." He smiled, not wanting to keep saying he loved Severus, not wanting to make the other man uncomfortable.
no subject
Date: 2005-06-10 10:56 pm (UTC)Remus loved him.
"Yes, I know," he said in a low voice, reluctantly convincing himself he should go now. He had to.
He shouldn't hope, hope was fruitless and foolish and yet he did. He just wasn't quite sure for what he hoped.
"You know where I am." He looked intently into Remus' eyes for a long moment, willing his lover to see that he could come, anytime. Once more he realised how little he really had to offer Remus.
"Be careful." As if he needed to tell something like that to Remus Lupin. He smiled lightly, shaking the other thoughts off as he kissed Remus and rose from the bed.
no subject
Date: 2005-06-11 04:53 pm (UTC)He wanted to say more, but it would only draw this out, and Kirill would be here soon.
He waved and closed his eyes, resting a little more before his other lover showed up.
no subject
Date: 2005-06-11 07:33 pm (UTC)