Second night of the full moon at Remus' place.

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Severus had spent the prior night staring at ... the moon. It was full and the effect had been obvious - to him at least - in Remus, when he had come for the potion the day before.

He was still not sure this was a good idea. He knew himself well enough to know that he needed to do this, if he even contemplated going any further with ... whatever was between Remus and him.

Just the mere fact that he used the name, Remus and not Lupin, in his mind now was indicator enough for him that there was more than just a simple base physical attraction.

The ease with how the shift in his mind had occured also indicated there had been more for longer than he realised. Or was ready to realise.

But now he was going to face it full on. Remus in his werewolf form. He could still very vividly remember the last time he had seen that, and it was not a relished memory. He freely admitted - at least to himself - the fear he had felt then, both for his own safety, but also for the foolish children.

But this time... this time he would know if that fear was too great to overcome. The potion would ensure his safety, true, but that had no consequence at all when it came down to the irrational elements of the fear. The elements that stemmed both from stories and myths, and from what had happened so very many years ago, initiated by a stupid reckless schoolboy, prevented by another equally stupid schoolboy and paid for over and over again by a third. And that not entirely without Severus' fault, the last.

But Remus had moved beyond that, beyond what Severus had knowingly inflicted on the man through words and actions. So should Severus, since Remus' fault had only consisted of thoughtlessness. Grave and dangerous, but not intentional.

Yes, he had done a lot of thinking today, and most of it thoughts he had not touched for years, decades even. It had even affected his concentration in classes - thank the gods only 1st and 3rd years. But it had been thoughts that had needed to be worked through.

And now he was ready to leave. As ready as he could be. He wouldn't need much, really. Only a few toiletries and the potion, all of which were now gathered on his desk, the goblet covered with a temporary stasis spell to keep it fresh. That would only work for a couple of hours, but Remus would drink it before that.

He would need to apparate, the floo system simply too ... uneven to ensure the potion stayed in the goblet. Severus shrunk the toiletries and pocketed them, picked up the goblet, then left his chambers and with brisk determined strides he moved outside and beyond the anti-apparition wards of Hogwarts. He pulled out his wand and a few moments later, he reappeared outside Remus' door.

For a moment he had to simply breathe and refocus, the long distance apparition slightly disorientating and uncomfortable. Then he knocked and waited for Remus to answer the door.

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[moonyblues.livejournal.com]

Remus heard the knock and wrung his hands. That had to be Severus. He was exceptionally nervous about this. More than he would be with Kirill, he knew.

He'd never tried to devour Kirill. Kirill had never seen Moony running after people as Severus had not that long ago.

But, this had to be done. Accepting Remus meant accepting all of him, and that included Moony. It included the possibility that Moony could hurt or kill someone, someday, but Remus figured that just seeing him would be enough to bring that point home.

He got up from the couch and opened the door. Remus gestured Severus in, smiling a little, obviously worn and tired from the first night.

"Come in, Severus." His voice was soft and a bit ragged. He'd smoked too many cigarettes.

Remus put his hand on Snape's arm and ushered him in, closing and locking the door behind him. He squeezed the other man's arm a bit, then leaned in to rest his forehead on Snape's shoulder, inhaling deeply and letting it out.

"Thanks for coming."

[sev-ensnared.livejournal.com]

"Thank you," Severus looked at Remus as the man let him in, recognising the signs of the exhaustion that always followed, and would grow further yet before the full moon was over.

Remus was luckily holding onto the arm that was carrying the goblet, so he could move his other hand to Remus' back, simply resting there as the man rested against him.

"I wanted to come." In fact, he had needed to come, but wanting it as well indicated it was more than just a hurdle they had to get past. He had not lied when he had said he wanted to spend time with Remus. And that would include times like this as well. That it was also unsettling, was not a surprise. But he could deal with that. The warmth and scent coming from the man against him made it easier.

[moonyblues.livejournal.com]

Remus sighed, releasing a little tension as Severus moved his free hand to rest on his back. It eased him a bit, for Snape to say he'd wanted to come. That this, whatever it was, between them was important enough for him to deal with this aspect of Remus. If it was just sex, Severus wouldn't be here.

"Good. Good."

He enjoyed the contact for a moment, then pulled back and eyed the goblet, a resigned smile on his face.

"Might as well take that now, get it over with." He took the goblet in one hand, Severus' hand in the other and led Severus over to the couch. Sitting, Remus tugged gently on Snape's hand, urging him to sit beside him.

When Snape was settled next to him, Remus drank the potion, managing it in two gulps, grimacing as he set the goblet down on the table next to the couch. No matter how often he drank it, he always made a face. It really was vile.

"I love that potion. It's so refreshing." Remus smiled at Severus and squeezed his hand to let him know he really did value the potion, but sometimes one had to joke about unfunny things.

"We have a little time, before. Might want to work out a system. So you can at least ask me yes/no questions? A yip for yes, a growl for no? Or, a tail wag for yes, a thump for no?"

He smiled again, more nervously. It was so odd for him to think of himself as Moony in a position to actually interact with someone.

[sev-ensnared.livejournal.com]

Severus' lips curled into a small amused smirk at Remus' predictable reaction to the potion. He knew how much the man appreciated it, having heard and seen that gratitude many times. He of course also knew just how exactly foul it tasted and the irony in Remus' words was amusing.

Holding Remus' hand was odd, even as the contact was good. Much better than it objectively should be.

An eyebrow quirked almost on its own volition at Remus' suggestions "Nodding or shaking your head should be within your capabilities, shouldn't it?" The smirk was still there, the light sarcasm in his voice teasing.

"But if not, you could maybe beg with your left paw for yes, and your right for no? No?" He chuckled. The humour was needed. Needed to ensure them both, he thought, that this was going to turn out well.

[moonyblues.livejournal.com]

Remus smiled a little. "Well, it's a different dynamic. Body structure is a bit odd for nodding and shaking."

His smile widened at the begging suggestion.

"There will be no begging, I'm afraid. I only do that in bed, and we'll be having none of that." Remus looked away and blushed at the mere idea of such a thing.

He suddenly wanted more closeness, so he leaned into Severus, kissing him quickly before resting his cheek on the other man's chest.

"I can nod and shake my head if that's best for you. Whatever makes you most comfortable. That certainly is the most human of the options."

[sev-ensnared.livejournal.com]

Severus chuckled again and his eyebrow arched further at Remus' blush. And even though he agreed wholeheartily that there would be none of that, he found the reaction almost ... endearing.

The kiss removed the smirk and left his lips tingling lightly at the unexpected touch. Once more he moved a hand to Remus back, a light stroke before it settled against the man's waist.

"Which ever would be most convenient for you. You know the workings of your body in that... form. As long as the signals aren't too subtle, I would be able to discern between them."

As long as it's not one bite for yes, and two for no?

Merlin be damned! Angry with himself, his exterior however not changing expression, he resentfully pushed that thought far far down. He knew the tone of it so very well. The voice of a teenager, piping up when he should simply shut up.

Remus would not bite him. He would not! Severus was quite sure of that, else he wouldn't have been here in the first place.

He trusted Remus. Enough. More than anybody, really.

[moonyblues.livejournal.com]

"Okay. Maybe I'll mix it up. Utilize the full range of yips, head shaking, and tail wagging. I'm sure you'll be able to figure it out, genius that you are."

Remus smiled against Severus' chest. This was nice.

"This is nice," he said out loud, unguarded. He ran his free arm around Severus' neck, playing with his hair a little.

"It won't be too long, now." He could feel the tingling that started before the moon rose. He still had a while, but no more than ten or fifteen minutes. "Maybe you should stay here and I can go upstairs for the actual transformation, it's not...Pretty. And there's really no reason for you to see that. Unless you want to, for some reason. Or need to. That's up to you."

Remus hated the thought of someone he loved seeing him go through that, but it was part of him. He would leave it up to Severus.

"Do you want a drink, or anything? Your welcome to anything I have while you're here, of course. Well. Anytime, really."

[sev-ensnared.livejournal.com]

The smile returned to Severus' lips as Remus teased back. And he had to agree, not even begrudgingly as otherwise usually had been his way, that this was nice. He enjoyed the light touches to his neck, no longer unfamiliar and foreign.

His smile faltered slightly as Remus reminded him of the time. He should have come earlier, or should he? Wasn't it good they didn't have too much time to become nervous around each other, at the thought of what would take place?

He didn't imagine the transformation was any less than excruciating. He had endured that kind of pain and had seen it endured. He had seen worse things than a werewolf transformation, things he could never share with others. Things that were best left in the dark.

But to watch Remus transform, watch him be in that kind of pain... It would be infinitely worse than any of those other events. Because it was Remus.

A thought that really made the decision for him. "You should stay here," he replied in a low voice.

He doubted his presence would make any difference in the actual process or the levels of pain, and he would not be able to ease that in any way. But he would be there, and Remus would know it.

And he could not do this fully without fully witnessing every aspect. The pain was a part of Remus, as was the wolf, the exhaustion and the man currently leaning against him and touching him. It was all Remus and ... he wanted it all, needed to understand.

"I will see to my needs later. Don't worry." That was the least thing tonight.

[moonyblues.livejournal.com]

Remus nodded against him. He knew Severus was right, but it really bothered him to be seen like that. But it only lasted three or four minutes, even though it seemed like much longer.

"Okay. I'll stay here."

He'd done as usual and not eaten or drank anything all day. He'd learned early on not to. The last thing he needed was to lose control of bodily function and make a mess. And in that sort of pain, such things were inevitable. By the end of the third moon, he was tired and exhausted from a three day fast, as well as from the ordeal.

He wanted to tell Severus he loved him, to say it here and now, but...Better not. The other man had made no overtures in that direction, even though Remus had to assume his being here meant quite a lot. It wasn't that it made a difference if Snape returned his feelings or said it back; he just didn't want to make him any more uncomfortable than he already was.

"I'm glad you're here," he said again, softly. Then he kissed Severus gently, lovingly, wanting to get his point across in one way, if not vocally, his fingers running through his lover's hair, his other hand still holding Snape's.

He let the kiss linger for a while before backing away and moving off the couch.

"I, ahh, better get ready. It'll be soon, now."

Remus stripped off his clothes in a businesslike way, not trying to look attractive or anything. Just something he had to get done.

Once he was unclothed, he looked back to Severus and smiled shakily, then lay down on the floor, facing away from his lover.

You can do this. You can do this. He wants to see, it'll be okay.

He cleared his throat as the tingling intensified.

"If you find you need to leave, Severus, please do. Anytime. I don't want you to stay if you get too uncomfortable. Promise me?"

His voice was soft and somewhat flat.

[sev-ensnared.livejournal.com]

It was still there, that strange desire to touch. Would the hairs be coarse or soft? How warm would it be? Would Remus like being touched while in that form? While being a ... werewolf.

A werewolf who understood and replied.

"Good."

Who wasn't a slavering beast, pouncing to rip out his throat.

A werewolf who was simply Remus, in a different shape.

And yet, his heart was still beating faster than it should, faster than he wanted it to.

Lifting his hand from the couch, knowing it would shake just faintly, he reached out. He didn't know what he was asking for, or allowing. But they couldn't sit like this for the rest of the time.

[moonyblues.livejournal.com]

Remus advanced slowly, his head down in a non agressive posture. He stopped within reaching distance of Severus, then looked up at him through his eyelashes.

Sitting down again, he wagged his tail a little, trying to look as much like a dog as he could, even though he knew he was too huge to really pull it off.

[sev-ensnared.livejournal.com]

Close, too close. His heart picked up the pace again, even as he forced himself to take deep slow breaths.

But Remus just sat there, looking at him, the tail thumping ever so faintly against something, so Severus could hear it wagging, even if he couldn't see it.

Remus was quite obviously trying to make himself as unthreatening as possible - size non-withstanding - and it was working. Once more his pulse slowed faintly down and his hand closed the last distance, fingertips barely brushing over fur at Remus' shoulder.

The hairs tickled over and between his fingers as he kept looking into Remus' eyes, his hand moving slightly closer. He knew he was on his guard still, how could he not be? But he was touching the wolf, facing it, facing Remus.

[moonyblues.livejournal.com]

Remus couldn't help but smell Severus' emotions at this distance. But the other man was dealing with them, calming down.

He rested his head on the couch, sighing softly, closing his eyes.

Severus' fingers felt really good in his...err...fur.

He huffed softly, laughing. Odd to think of someone moving their hands in his fur...

[sev-ensnared.livejournal.com]

As Remus relaxed against the couch, maybe even enjoying the touch, Severus calmed slightly further down and grew faintly bolder. He pushed his fingers deep into the fur, the outer hairs coarse, but the undercoat soft as rabbits' fur. And so incredibly warm, almost like a furnace.

He could feel Remus breathe, and also shift ever so faintly, muscles... strong muscles moving just beneath the skin, beneath his fingers. There was no doubt that the wolf could inflict grievous damage to a human, but there was also no doubt in Severus' mind, that Remus would never allow the wolf to do that. Not when he was in control of it and himself, as he was now.

"Do you still feel pain?" His hand stroked slightly up towards Remus' neck and head.

[moonyblues.livejournal.com]

Moony tried to shrug, but isn't sure it came across. He made a non-commital noise. He ached, and had some lingering muscle spasms, but it wasn't too bad, and it would pass.

He climbed up on to the couch and curled up next to Severus. The petting felt really nice. Putting his head gently in Snape's lap, Moony huffed softly, nuzzling him just a little.

He felt like a lapdog, but that was alright. With the potion, that's pretty much what he was.

[sev-ensnared.livejournal.com]

Severus tensed slightly as Remus came up on the couch that dipped under the weight that had to be the same as Remus' actual human weight. The wolf seemed even larger for the short moments it stood next to him, but as Remus lay down, Severus relaxed again.

It was no different from some of the huge dogs he had met in his life.

The warm pressure next to him and the large head on his lap was as unthreatening as anything could be, really. It was almost sureal, as he looked down at Remus. He had never imagined he would sit like this, with a werewolf in his lap and feeling... good. His fingers once more slid into the deep fur and he stroked slowly down over Remus' neck and side, again and again.

He was glad he had done this. Glad he had finally faced the monster of his youth and found Remus instead.

[moonyblues.livejournal.com]

Moony wagged his tail and closed his eyes. Snape was petting him again, and it felt...Really good. He could lay like this forever. He inhaled deeply. Severus, potion, wolf, couch, content, happy, relaxed. Not afraid. He let it out slowly. If wolves could weep for joy, he would. As it was, he just felt the warmth of the situation cover him, make him feel safe.

He huffed softly and let himself drift off. He was so exhausted, so sleepy, hungry, hurting a bit, still. The petting was hypnotic, and Remus soon found himself dozing, then falling into a contented sleep, feeling accepted and grateful for it. Feeling loved.

[moonyblues.livejournal.com]

I didn't choose them, I'm just renting the place. And don't pat me on the head, I'm not a pet.

Not that Remus really minded. He kind of liked it, really.

He walked into the room and turned around, as if to say, 'this is my bedroom. In all it's glory. Make yourself at home, if you like.'

But, maybe Severus didn't want to stay in here with him?

He yipped and lead Severus out to the hall, then nudged the office door open. Charlie had vacated for the moon, so he'd not be needing the bed.

Remus walked to the bed, then barked and cocked his head.

You can stay in here, if you'd...Rather. But I'd rather you stay with me.

[sev-ensnared.livejournal.com]

Severus was slightly confused as Remus led him into what seemed to be a guest room, or an office, judging from the desk.

He looked into Remus' eyes. He hadn't come here not to be with Remus. He'd come here to spend this full moon with him, all of it.

"Do you want me to sleep here." He asked bluntly. He would accept Remus' wish, if so. But he would rather sleep in the same room at Remus. Only that way would he be able to communicate the level of trust he put into Remus... also in this form.

[moonyblues.livejournal.com]

Remus growled low in his throat and thumped his tail hard on the floor.

No, I want you with me. But I want you to choose it.

[sev-ensnared.livejournal.com]

A dark eyebrow arched at that reply.

"That would be a no then." He turned about and went back into the bedroom, expecting Remus to follow him. The wolf was rather expressive, and with the added dimension of a fully coherent human mind, Severus found he had no problem understanding Remus.

At least not yet.

He started unbuttoning his usual robe with deft fingers.

[moonyblues.livejournal.com]

Remus followed, happy with the choice.

He passed severus on the way to the bed, brushing against his leg before hopping onto it and curling up with a contented huff. He watched Snape undoing his robe.

Damn, I wish I was human right now...But there's always tomorrow.

[sev-ensnared.livejournal.com]

Once the robe was open, he slid it off his shoulders and put it on a chair. He opened his shirt as well and put it down on top of the robe. He could feel Remus watch him, his neck tingling in a manner that told him he was observed. He didn't mind, it was just slightly strange in this situation. To be watched by a wolf while undressing, knowing the human mind inside the wold very probably enjoyed the sight.

Are you being selfconscious, Severus?

He defied that thought by finally discarding his trousers. With that he turned around and went to the other side of the bed. He slid under the cool covers with a small sigh. He hadn't realised he was tired before now. It was rather late at home in Scotland right now, and his biological clock simply refused to switch to New York time.

Severus looked at Remus, then stroked a hand over his fur "I said I would spend the full moon with you, Remus. And I will."

[moonyblues.livejournal.com]

Remus would kiss Severus, if he could. He was a sweet man, it seemed.

Who would have thought?

He lay his head on the covers over Snape's chest and just looked at him affectionately. He blinked slowly, just staring for quite a while.

Finally he closed his eyes and let himself drift off. It was his habit to sleep through most of the night, and he briefly worried about what might happen when he changed back, but there was nothing to be done about it, it would be what it would be. Remus put it from his mind and slept.

[sev-ensnared.livejournal.com]

Had it not been Remus behind those golden eyes, the stare would have been enervating. But as it was, he merely looked back through the darkness of the room, the gaze and the slow breaths almost hypnotic.

He watched Remus fall asleep, Severus' hand resting lightly on his neck. He wondered if Remus would change back in his sleep, but doubted it. He would at least wake up when the discomfort reached a high enough level. Severus just hoped that he would wake before Remus then.

He didn't realise he fell asleep. He hadn't expected to fall asleep actually, with the so very close presence of the wolf, right on his chest. But he did.