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sev_ensnared_mirrorSeverus had spent the prior night staring at ... the moon. It was full and the effect had been obvious - to him at least - in Remus, when he had come for the potion the day before.
He was still not sure this was a good idea. He knew himself well enough to know that he needed to do this, if he even contemplated going any further with ... whatever was between Remus and him.
Just the mere fact that he used the name, Remus and not Lupin, in his mind now was indicator enough for him that there was more than just a simple base physical attraction.
The ease with how the shift in his mind had occured also indicated there had been more for longer than he realised. Or was ready to realise.
But now he was going to face it full on. Remus in his werewolf form. He could still very vividly remember the last time he had seen that, and it was not a relished memory. He freely admitted - at least to himself - the fear he had felt then, both for his own safety, but also for the foolish children.
But this time... this time he would know if that fear was too great to overcome. The potion would ensure his safety, true, but that had no consequence at all when it came down to the irrational elements of the fear. The elements that stemmed both from stories and myths, and from what had happened so very many years ago, initiated by a stupid reckless schoolboy, prevented by another equally stupid schoolboy and paid for over and over again by a third. And that not entirely without Severus' fault, the last.
But Remus had moved beyond that, beyond what Severus had knowingly inflicted on the man through words and actions. So should Severus, since Remus' fault had only consisted of thoughtlessness. Grave and dangerous, but not intentional.
Yes, he had done a lot of thinking today, and most of it thoughts he had not touched for years, decades even. It had even affected his concentration in classes - thank the gods only 1st and 3rd years. But it had been thoughts that had needed to be worked through.
And now he was ready to leave. As ready as he could be. He wouldn't need much, really. Only a few toiletries and the potion, all of which were now gathered on his desk, the goblet covered with a temporary stasis spell to keep it fresh. That would only work for a couple of hours, but Remus would drink it before that.
He would need to apparate, the floo system simply too ... uneven to ensure the potion stayed in the goblet. Severus shrunk the toiletries and pocketed them, picked up the goblet, then left his chambers and with brisk determined strides he moved outside and beyond the anti-apparition wards of Hogwarts. He pulled out his wand and a few moments later, he reappeared outside Remus' door.
For a moment he had to simply breathe and refocus, the long distance apparition slightly disorientating and uncomfortable. Then he knocked and waited for Remus to answer the door.
He was still not sure this was a good idea. He knew himself well enough to know that he needed to do this, if he even contemplated going any further with ... whatever was between Remus and him.
Just the mere fact that he used the name, Remus and not Lupin, in his mind now was indicator enough for him that there was more than just a simple base physical attraction.
The ease with how the shift in his mind had occured also indicated there had been more for longer than he realised. Or was ready to realise.
But now he was going to face it full on. Remus in his werewolf form. He could still very vividly remember the last time he had seen that, and it was not a relished memory. He freely admitted - at least to himself - the fear he had felt then, both for his own safety, but also for the foolish children.
But this time... this time he would know if that fear was too great to overcome. The potion would ensure his safety, true, but that had no consequence at all when it came down to the irrational elements of the fear. The elements that stemmed both from stories and myths, and from what had happened so very many years ago, initiated by a stupid reckless schoolboy, prevented by another equally stupid schoolboy and paid for over and over again by a third. And that not entirely without Severus' fault, the last.
But Remus had moved beyond that, beyond what Severus had knowingly inflicted on the man through words and actions. So should Severus, since Remus' fault had only consisted of thoughtlessness. Grave and dangerous, but not intentional.
Yes, he had done a lot of thinking today, and most of it thoughts he had not touched for years, decades even. It had even affected his concentration in classes - thank the gods only 1st and 3rd years. But it had been thoughts that had needed to be worked through.
And now he was ready to leave. As ready as he could be. He wouldn't need much, really. Only a few toiletries and the potion, all of which were now gathered on his desk, the goblet covered with a temporary stasis spell to keep it fresh. That would only work for a couple of hours, but Remus would drink it before that.
He would need to apparate, the floo system simply too ... uneven to ensure the potion stayed in the goblet. Severus shrunk the toiletries and pocketed them, picked up the goblet, then left his chambers and with brisk determined strides he moved outside and beyond the anti-apparition wards of Hogwarts. He pulled out his wand and a few moments later, he reappeared outside Remus' door.
For a moment he had to simply breathe and refocus, the long distance apparition slightly disorientating and uncomfortable. Then he knocked and waited for Remus to answer the door.
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Date: 2005-05-29 01:39 am (UTC)It was no different from some of the huge dogs he had met in his life.
The warm pressure next to him and the large head on his lap was as unthreatening as anything could be, really. It was almost sureal, as he looked down at Remus. He had never imagined he would sit like this, with a werewolf in his lap and feeling... good. His fingers once more slid into the deep fur and he stroked slowly down over Remus' neck and side, again and again.
He was glad he had done this. Glad he had finally faced the monster of his youth and found Remus instead.
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Date: 2005-05-29 02:11 am (UTC)He huffed softly and let himself drift off. He was so exhausted, so sleepy, hungry, hurting a bit, still. The petting was hypnotic, and Remus soon found himself dozing, then falling into a contented sleep, feeling accepted and grateful for it. Feeling loved.
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Date: 2005-05-29 06:49 pm (UTC)Severus watched Remus fall asleep, his light strokes not faltering at any moment. Even after Remus was very clearly sleeping, Severus kept moving his hand.
This was real, the werewolf in his lap, Remus... He knew the reasons for why he had done this very accutely. He had turned them around in his mind many times since Remus had asked if he wanted to be here for this.
Actually, since he had fucked the man on his desk. The ramifications of that night's happenings had rattled him quite thoroughly, insinuating Remus Lupin in his life in a manner never thought possible.
Or plausible.
Again and again his paranoia and general mistrust in anybody but himself had reared its head. He had expected that and had even, for the sake of argument, allowed it to ask him what ulterior motives Remus could have... What he could possibly want from Severus Snape... What planned humiliation was waiting ahead...
And he'd come up with no answers that had made him believe he was making a mistake. Ulterior motives? There had never been anything ulterior about Remus, old Marauder status or not.
No, there was more at stake here. For both of them. A future?
His hand stilled in Remus' fur, but he didn't move away. He didn't need anything right now and didn't want to disturb Remus before it became necessary. Instead he relaxed a bit further in his seat, watching the wolf sleep.
no subject
Date: 2005-05-29 07:35 pm (UTC)chasingarabbitchasingarabbitchasingarabbit
He woke with a start, blinking groggily, his paws stilling.
Damn rabbits, he thought. He glanced up and saw Severus still sitting there. Remus' head was still in his lap.
He glanced at the clock. A few hours had passed.
He felt kind of bad. He'd kept the other man just sitting here for all of that time.
He whined softly and batted his eyelashes, an apology.
no subject
Date: 2005-05-29 08:33 pm (UTC)Otherwise, he spent the time contemplating next weeks schedule, using it as a small exercise for his mind. He needed a small break from thinking about Remus and him and what would happen after this.
He startled slightly out of his thoughts as he felt Remus shift, and looked down into the golden eyes.
A small smile flickered over his lips at the whine and expression.
"If you are sorry, you shouldn't be. I have been comfortable enough and you don't drool in your sleep." His hand gave a light stroke over the fur. He enjoyed the slide of it against the palm of his hand, an almost sensual touch.
no subject
Date: 2005-05-29 09:32 pm (UTC)Don't drool in my sleep. Of COURSE I don't drool in my sleep! I'm a person, you know! Next time, I WILL drool in my sleep, just for that!
Remus stretched a little, then bounded off the couch and stretched again, a good proper stretch complete with a huge yawn. He shook again, after, then just stood and looked around.
He remembered the gift he'd bought Severus, and made a small yipping noise, then went to the kitchen table, hoping Snape would follow.
Remus hopped up on one of the chairs and sat. He supposed it might look strange, a huge wolf sitting properly at a kitchen table, but, he couldn't be bothered with that. He was what he was.
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Date: 2005-05-29 09:48 pm (UTC)At least not verbally. The huff was quite eloquent.
His eyes automatically flickered to the teeth as Remus yawned. The power those had... to crush and tear and maim... And they wouldn't. Remus wouldn't.
Severus got up from the couch, also giving a small stretch after being seated like that for several hours. His back popped lightly and he groaned. He refused to acknowledge it might be age kicking his arse. Not yet.
He followed Remus into the kitchen and chuckled again as he saw Remus sit like that at the table. Then he saw what was on the table.
Ink...
He laughed with great amusement and shook his head "Thank you... I will keep it out of your way the next time you visit me." he picked up the puce coloured bottle. Antique and very beautiful. The ink was of a very fine quality as well. Definitely not something that would be used on correcting essays... or smearing all over his lover's body. He chuckled and put the bottle down, before looking at Remus again.
"It's beautiful." He reached out and stroked his hand down over Remus' neck in a slow caress. He would have to save the kiss for later.
no subject
Date: 2005-05-29 10:14 pm (UTC)That will teach him for the drooling remark.
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Date: 2005-05-29 10:42 pm (UTC)Werewolf saliva...
He pushed down the very strong urge to berate Remus for doing something like that, the risk of the saliva finding a crack in his skin...
Instead he snorted and carefully wiped his hand off in Remus' fur with a small smirk "Disgusting, Lupin. Who knows where that tongue was last." he was determined to not let anything rattle him. This was too important.
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Date: 2005-05-30 03:46 pm (UTC)He sits at the table and wags his tail, then hops off and makes another soft yipping noise, heading up the stairs to the bedroom. Severus and he can sleep there, if the other man will consent to it.
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Date: 2005-05-30 03:54 pm (UTC)To the bedroom...
"Didn't you say there would be none of that?" he asked with an arched eyebrow, clearly teasing. "At any rate, I will need a drink of water first, so you'll have to be patient." He opened a few cupboards before he found a glass, then filled it from the tap and drank. He nearly spit it out again, but managed to swallow it down.
"Dear Merlin, what kind of water is this?" He looked at the remaining liquid in the glass. It looked fine, but it had a distinct chemical aftertaste. Maybe something that purified it?
Muggles... With a soft snort he put the glass down in the sink, and turned around to join Remus on the stairs.
no subject
Date: 2005-05-30 06:09 pm (UTC)Prima donna...
He traipsed up the rest of the stairs, only to find he'd forgotten to leave the bedroom door open.
He sat in front of the door and thumped his tail, whining softly.
no subject
Date: 2005-05-30 06:29 pm (UTC)"You should've considered door handles instead of door knobs, Remus. That would be easier to deal with." with a chuckle he patted Remus' head lightly. The feel of the fur was just too tempting to forego.
Then he opened the door, letting it swing wide so Remus could enter.