Occlumency Lesson (open to Remus Lupin and Harry Potter)

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Snape was for once relaxing slightly before his mind would be taxed not only with the presence of Potter, but also the task of actually trying to teach the brat something.

He wondered if Lupin would arrive before or would meet the boy first and then they'd come here together. Not that he had anything particular to speak with him about. He simply wondered.

His night had been busy. Several herbs and roots were at their most potent strength on Beltane night and he had spent a couple of hours trekking through the Dark Forests to find them. Afterwards he had joined a small fire celebration in Hogsmeade, but had left before the people had turned too rowdy.

He had spent most of the day on storing his nightly acquisitions securely, prepared what he could for next week, hovered a bit over the Wolfsbane potion although it looked fine and had then finally removed a few memories from his mind and put them in the pensieve.

That Pensieve was now stored very securely in a locked cabinet in his bedroom. He might put a small bit of trust into Potter not repeating the mistake, but better safe than sorry.

Watching the flames dance lightly, Snape could only wait for Lupin and Potter.

Comments

[moonyblues.livejournal.com]

Remus smiled and shrugged.

"No, I probably wouldn't want you in my head, come to think. It's a fairly scary place, when it comes right down to it. Besides, there might be things in there that I don't want you to know."

He looked at Snape intently for a moment before looking away.

"I have no affinity for those things, anyway. I'd be a hopeless student. I would just frustrate you no end..."

He smiled sweetly at the other man.

[sev-ensnared.livejournal.com]

Severus chuckled lightly, amused, but also liking that smile more than he cared to admit. "And just how would that be different from normal?"

But he agreed. Lupin had as far as he knew never shown interest in mind spells of any kind.

He was also fairly sure there were several things he had no wish to see.

But you'd like to take a look anyway, wouldn't you?

"As it is though, you would be able to take out memories you wish to keep private before embarking on such a lesson." Surely Lupin knew of pensieves.

[moonyblues.livejournal.com]

Remus chuckled lightly and drummed his fingers on the desk.

"It wouldn't, I guess. I do try to annoy you as often as possible, but never seem to get anywhere."

He smiled wider and narrowed his eyes.

"Wouldn't removing memories, using a pensieve or whatnot, be cheating? Wouldn't one of the motivations to do well be the fear of someone seeing something you might not wish them to? Without that..." He shrugged. "I don't see the reason to put a lot of effort into it. Nothing to lose, after all."

[sev-ensnared.livejournal.com]

"True, but much to gain in making an effort. You will not always have access to a pensieve, and expecting such times, might be incentive enough." Knowledge was always worth an effort.

"Fear is rarely a productive motivation, since it tends to cloud other perceptions of a situation, than the basic cause of that fear and the instant removal of the threat. And sometimes you can make the mistake of focusing only on those few memories you remember you don't want to share, potentially forgetting other memories, that might even be more volatile in the hands of somebody else..." A small smirk formed on his lips.

"Additionally, afterwards, you might find it difficult to remember the actual details of the situation. Details that might be helpful another time. To prevent a repeat."

Why was he trying to convince Lupin of this?

"Of course, in a more casual setting as this one, when gaining knowledge isn't the main reason for the exercise, one could see it differently. Then it would take on the character of a wager... a competition." Which Lupin would lose. That didn't prevent a light touch of challenge in his voice and eyes as he looked into Lupin's eyes.

[moonyblues.livejournal.com]

"I've generally found fear to be a very good motivator, actually. At least, it seems so in my situation. If it weren't I think I'd be able to get a job. There wouldn't be so many regulations. I guess it depends on if the fear is of the sudden, all-consuming type, or the less sharp, pervasive type. Anyway."

Remus smiled slightly at Snape, a bit bemused.

"Not much of a competition, considering you are a master at such things and I have no skill at all. You'd throttle me with no effort at all. Hardly something I'd volunteer for. It might be something worthwhile for me to try to learn, though. After all, I do process all of the Order's reports. I may seem like a paper-pusher, but if I were to be captured...Voldemort would get an awful lot of information. Assuming he wouldn't just kill me outright, which I think is a safe assumption. I'm sure he could find more worthwhile ways to use someone like me."

The thought filled him with dread. Being kept alive and used as an executioner on full moons. It was his deepest fear.

[sev-ensnared.livejournal.com]

Remus' words coiled icily inside him and the smirk faded, his expression turning serious. The thought of Voldemort not only getting his fingers on the man, using his knowledge of all the Order members, of Severus, but also finding other uses for him... That thought was chilling.

He had a fairly good idea of what The Dark Lord would use Lupin for. And the darkness that he saw flitting across the man's eyes and features indicated that so did Lupin.

Severus looking intently at him. "Think about it. I see no reason why you shouldn't be able to learn it." Even with only rudimentary Occlumency skills, Lupin would be able to fool them, or at leat hold them out of his mind for a bit. Maybe long enough. But it was Severus' job to prevent Lupin from being taken in the first place, and he planned on doing his job very well. Very well indeed.

[moonyblues.livejournal.com]

"I..." He looked to Snape and then to the desk, fidgeting a bit with his fingers.

"I would be willing to try. Sure. If you're sure you're willing to teach me. I know your time is valuable...I take up too much of it with the Wolfsbane and such as it is."

Remus couldn't deny he'd like the opportunity to learn. And to be around Snape. But he'd not take the other man's knowlegde for granted and use it for his own personal reasons. That wouldn't be right.

[sev-ensnared.livejournal.com]

"Of course I would be willing to teach you, else I wouldn't have asked you to think about it."

Severus saw no problem in spending more of his time on Lupin.

Or with him? Yes, he could admit that. The thought of spending time with Lupin was ... appealing.

"But it would mean dedication from you. You know how I teach and what I expect of my students." The smirk returned to his lips. He hadn't expected Lupin to actually consider taking Occlumency lessons and he was pleased. More pleased than he could let Lupin know.

Why?

[moonyblues.livejournal.com]

Remus smiled wryly at Snape. "I know what you expect of your students. Who do you think they complained to, when I taught here? I would do my best. I would hate to not, ermmm, measure up? But you would, of course, need to be gentle with me, at first."

Remus smiled wider at Snape, letting a little flirtyness creep into his tone.

[sev-ensnared.livejournal.com]

Severus' eyebrow quirked faintly at Lupin's tone. He was reminded of their firecall conversation, the difference now only being that he as actually in the same room as the man. And could see him clearly and not through orange flames.

"I hadn't thought you would want gentle treatment, but as you wish." He knew his own voice had dipped slightly. But the temptation of Lupin's voice as too strong to resist.

Is it only his voice, Severus?

"I shall curb my ... demands on you. At first." He wasn't quite sure those demands would restrict themselves only to scolarly fields of interest. Not necessarily, at least.

[moonyblues.livejournal.com]

Remus laughed a little and cocked his head.

"Now why would you think I wouldn't want gentle treatment?" His voice purred slightly.

"Don't curb anything. I like you just the way you are, Severus."

[sev-ensnared.livejournal.com]

"Call it an ... educated guess, shall we?" That voice... there was definitely more than normal teasing in it. Quite a lot more, when also judging by the expression on Lupin's face.

He found his own tone matching that of Lupin's, but wasn't surprised by that "Well then, you will have to choose, if you really want me to stay true to my character. I'm not a gentle person by nature, as you probably know only too well." Not that he couldn't be gentle when the situation called for it. He just wasn't convinced this was such a situation.

[moonyblues.livejournal.com]

Now Remus was starting to wonder what was going on. Sure, he'd told Snape he liked men, but he'd never said anything about liking it rough.

And, boy did he like it rough. Remus smiled a little bit, recalling him and Kirill and the scratching, biting...

Biting...

Oh, fuck.

"Oh, fuck."

He moves his hand to his neck and feels what must be an extremely noticeable bite mark still there. It had been deep and hadn't healed yet. And he'd worn it here, seemingly on purpose. But he had forgotten, he'd woken late and been so obsessed with not being late...

Remus stares at Snape, openmouthed, obviously shocked that he'd forgotten, not knowing what to say.

"I...Uhmm. I..."

[sev-ensnared.livejournal.com]

Sadly, Lupin's realisation of just how visible that mark on his neck was, seemed to have changed the mood of their conversation.

Well, it had left Lupin at a loss for words at any rate. Which was amusing in itself. Severus smirked, leaning slightly back in his seat.

"You what, Lupin?" He purred.

[moonyblues.livejournal.com]

"I..."

He cleared his throat and looked at the wall for a moment, trying to compose himself.

"I didn't realize that was there. I'd have...Worn something..."

He smiled sheepishly at Snape and fidgeted a little.

"Well. I guess your educated guess is right on target. So you don't need to be gentle with me, after all."

He shifted a little closer to Snape's desk. Snae had seen the bite, they'd been flirting for a while now. Why not keep it up?

"And, you know, I'd never want you to act out of character for me. I like how you are." He lowered his voice a little. "Surely you've figured that out by now? You're by no means a stupid man."

[sev-ensnared.livejournal.com]

Severus tilted his head faintly, but didn't move otherwise as Lupin leaned forward.

Well well, he had been right. He was however somewhat surprised at Lupin's sudden changed approach. Pleasantly surprised, even though there was still an undercurrent of ... not mistrust, in his mind, more like caution. Of course, he was always cautious in any extraordinary situation, and this was definitely one of those situations.

"No, I'm not and neither are you, I dare say. There's only one thing I haven't fully figured out yet..." He locked eyes with Lupin, his own voice still holding a suggestive tone, his eyebrow arching just a tad more.

"Just what are you hoping to accomplish? My educated guesses might not be on target every time, after all." He wondered if Lupin would be blunt about it.

[moonyblues.livejournal.com]

Remus looked hard at Snape, not playfully at all.

Just what was he trying to accomplish? He wasn't even sure, himself. He knew he wanted to touch the other man. To peel all those clothes off and lick him from head to toe. To push him to the ground and fuck him, be fucked by him.

But he also wanted to know him. To talk with him. To understand him, to share time, to sit in a room with him and read as he putters about making his potions. To help him chop up disgusting things and listen to Snape berate him for not doing it just right.

He wanted more than just sex. He wanted friendship. Something more than fiendship.

It was the same thing he wanted from Kirill, come to think.

And isn't that just a lovely situation to be in?

But, he knew he could work it out. It wasn't as if he loved either of them. It wasn't as if he were in love. At all.

Keep telling yourself that.

Idiot.

Remus looked at Snape as he thought about these things, only finally realising he'd been staring at the other man once long minutes had passed.

"I'm not sure what I'm trying to accomplish. I have an idea...But it's not something I feel I should contemplate too deeply until and unless I know that there is cause to do so." He narrowed his eyes a little. "Is there? Cause for me to do so?"

[sev-ensnared.livejournal.com]

Severus kept the eyecontact as Lupin quite obviously lost himself in thoughts. That the man had to consider his words, could both be a reassurance that he meant them, but could also be a sign of reluctance.

As they finally came, they ... held more than he'd expected. There was a seriousness suddenly, that indicated more than simple flirt... or physical gratification.

This in turn made Severus think. Was there a cause? Did he want Lupin to truly contemplate what he was trying to accomplish by his behavioud lately.

Haven't you been behaving as he? Haven't you been intrigued by the possible outcome of this? Haven't you been more than normally fascinated with anything that has to do with Lupin? With his voice... his scent... his warmth?

"I would say so, yes." He replied levelly, trying to impart that this was no game.

[moonyblues.livejournal.com]

Remus looked back at Snape and nodded slightly.

"So, you don't...Secretly loathe me? Or, not so secretly? I haven't been imagining the tone you've used with me for the past while? You don't find the idea of...Being with me...a problem? I mean, some things may seem alright in theory, but I would want something more along the lines of a practical demonstration."

These things seemed obvious, but Remus had to be sure. Snape was not someone he wanted to be on the wrong side of. He'd been there before, and he'd like to not go back.

"So. Just what should we do about this, then?"

He'd like to get up, lean across the desk, and pull Severus up by his overly voluminous clothes and snog him within an inch of his life.

But he really doesn't think that would be advisable.

[sev-ensnared.livejournal.com]

"Loathe you? No." He looked intently at Lupin, trying to gauge his feelings... his thoughts in this matter.

"The idea of being with you would obviously not be a problem, else I wouldn't even see any cause to continue this conversation."

As to what to do about this, Severus had several ideas. The man had asked for a practical demonstration, had he not?

But there were many unsolved issues between them still. Issues that made it hard to take those steps ... to openly admit there could be more than... cordial friendlyness. Also to openly admit that Severus Snape held more than bitterness and ill-will towards the world... towards those that came too near. It was a facade that had helped him through the years, but it was also a hindrance. A wall.

He pushed himself out of the chair, determined to overstep his own shadow in this, else he would be stuck forever and he would regret that, he knew it.

With determined steps, he moved around the desk to stand in front of Lupin, looking down at him.

Touch him.

"A practical demonstration?"

There wouldn't be any way back.

No, he didn't think there would be. But if he didn't do this, there wouldn't be a way ahead either.

He leaned down towards Lupin, his hand extending to curl around the back of the man's head, feeling the slide of hair and warm skin... a strong sensation, giving how little he actually touched people. It didn't stop him though, as he leaned further in, holding Lupin's head in place and kissed him.

[moonyblues.livejournal.com]

Remus watched steadily as Snape advanced on him. He didn't quite know what the other man was up to. Maybe he just wanted to be closer, to inspect him, or something?

But then it was more than that: Snape's hand in his hair, his scent enveloping him. Then, lips. Warm, dry, insistent. Snape's hair falling over him, brushing his cheek, tickling.

Remus sat in a bit of shock for a moment before kissing back, a soft moan escaping him, because this couldn't really be happening, could it?

He'd left Kirill in his bed, feeling like complete crap, ready to deal with Snape and Harry, and now...He was sitting in Snape's office, being kissed by the other man when the best he'd really truly ever hoped for was less snark and more amicable interaction.

This was very amicable.

Very, very amicable.

Remus slid a hand into Snape's hair, smoothing it back with his fingers before moving his hand to rest on the back of Snape's neck, stroking lightly.

[sev-ensnared.livejournal.com]

Lupin's response was encouraging, especially the low moan. It stirred something inside Severus, made him want more. Lupin's taste was still light, while his scent enveloped Severus' senses together with the touches to his neck.

He opened his mouth slightly and slid his tongue against Lupin's lips. There was a faint hint of tea but underneath that, was Lupin. That was what he was going for, as he once more slid the tip of his tongue out to trace Lupin's lips, asking?

[moonyblues.livejournal.com]

Remus stood, not breaking the kiss, bringing his other hand up to Severus' hair as he opened his mouth a little to let the other man in. He ran his fingers through Snape's hair, the other hand still resting on his neck. He slid his tongue out a little to tease against Snape's, growling softly in his throat.

He inhaled deeply. Snape smelled of potionmaking ingredients, sharp and strange and wonderful. He couldn't help but moan again, not trying to hold it in, wanting Snape to know just how much this turned him on.

[sev-ensnared.livejournal.com]

Severus had to tilt his head slightly back to accomodate the difference in height, but his attention was only on Lupin, on the tongue sliding against his lips in turn, the sounds. Merlin, that growl.

His fingers tightened slightly in the soft hair, his other hand found Lupin's hip, gripping lightly as he followed the beckoning tongue with a low involuntary moan of his own.

Lupin's taste was enticing, the sweetness of the overly sugared tea the man liked so much, lingering and adding to the flavours, the pleasure of the kiss.

He deepened the kiss slightly, roaming Lupin's mouth, enjoying it with an abandon that was unaccustomed to him, but good. Very good.

[moonyblues.livejournal.com]

Remus growls and moans louder as Snape tightens his fingers in his hair. God, how he loves that. And then Snape moaned and deepened the kiss, and Remus responded in kind, his own fingers moving against Snape's neck, in his hair, nipping at his bottom lip, licking it, kissing him harder.

He mutters Severus' name against his lips, feeling oddly euphoric, as if something long delayed had finally fallen into place.