Occlumency Lesson (open to Remus Lupin and Harry Potter)

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Snape was for once relaxing slightly before his mind would be taxed not only with the presence of Potter, but also the task of actually trying to teach the brat something.

He wondered if Lupin would arrive before or would meet the boy first and then they'd come here together. Not that he had anything particular to speak with him about. He simply wondered.

His night had been busy. Several herbs and roots were at their most potent strength on Beltane night and he had spent a couple of hours trekking through the Dark Forests to find them. Afterwards he had joined a small fire celebration in Hogsmeade, but had left before the people had turned too rowdy.

He had spent most of the day on storing his nightly acquisitions securely, prepared what he could for next week, hovered a bit over the Wolfsbane potion although it looked fine and had then finally removed a few memories from his mind and put them in the pensieve.

That Pensieve was now stored very securely in a locked cabinet in his bedroom. He might put a small bit of trust into Potter not repeating the mistake, but better safe than sorry.

Watching the flames dance lightly, Snape could only wait for Lupin and Potter.

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[moonyblues.livejournal.com]

Remus knocked lightly, very lightly, on Snape's door. Every noise seems magnified, and he's feeling lke complete shit.

He looked it, too. He was wearing sunglasses, to spare his eyes, even though it was quite dim down here.

He'd had time for a quick cleaning spell, but not time for an actual shower. So although he didn't stink, he still looked pretty worn. Like he'd been out all night, doing lord knows what. Which, of course, he had.

Leavng Kirill in his bed hadn't been in his plans, but Remus had had to make this meeting. He trusted the other man would find his own way out. Or not. It might be nice if he were still there when Remus returned, but Remus wouldn't cry if he wasn't.

Remus waited for Snape to open the door, posture somewhat slumped, head down. He wished he could curl into a ball right now.

[sev-ensnared.livejournal.com]

Severus had just contemplating firecalling Lupin, when a knock on the door signalled the arrival of either Potter or Lupin, or both.

He got up from his chair and went over to open the door. The sight that met him, had him quirk an eyebrow slightly.

"Good evening, Lupin." That man looked... worn, for lack of better words. Oh, he had better words, and maybe he would share them later.

"Do come in. The light is unduly sharp in the hallway." He smirked slightly and left Lupin to get himself in, as he went over to his desk.

[moonyblues.livejournal.com]

Remus groans an answer and comes into the room slowly.

He sat in the chair opposite Snape's desk and slumped down.

"Harry here yet?"

His voice sounded too loud to his ears.

[sev-ensnared.livejournal.com]

Snape seated himself and watched Lupin closely. Somebody had clearly taken the celebration part of Beltane very seriously last night.

It was amusing really. He had seen Lupin in a severely weakened state before, but that had always been in connection with the transformation. Not like this. Not self-induced.

"No, Potter has not arrived yet. I will send an elf for him, if he's not here within the next 15 minutes." Accuracy was not something he expected from that boy.

"So, did you ... enjoy Beltane?" He asked, almost innocently, his lips curling into a small smirk.

[moonyblues.livejournal.com]

Remus winced behind his sunglasses. "Could you, do me a favor and...Just. Whisper, or something?"

He put his fingers to his temple and rubbed.

"Enjoyed. Sure. Did you?"

He still wants to crawl into a hole. The flooing had made it worse. The fresh air hadn't helped, either. If he'd seen a bird chirping happily in a tree, he'd have gladly hexed it.

[sev-ensnared.livejournal.com]

Severus had not pity for Lupin. The man had brought this on himself. So he kept his voice on the same level, not that it was loud in the first place at all.

"I had an enjoyable evening, yes." He looked at Lupin closely once more, letting his eyes take in the man's hunched posture, slightly frazzled appearance, rough voice... Lupin had clearly indulged himself with drinking and smoking.

Severus wondered what else, as his eyes fell on what looked very much like a bite mark, on Lupin's neck. He looked back at the sunglasses, fighting down the urge to tell the man to take them off.

"Are you unwell?" Which was obviously a rhetoric question.

[moonyblues.livejournal.com]

Remus knew Snape wasn't stupid. And he knew he was trying to get to him.

And he was feeling like shit, so it almost worked. Almost.

"Never felt better," he said innocuously, almost too friendly.

Can't you just fucking whisper for me for fucks's sake? Guess not.

[sev-ensnared.livejournal.com]

"Very well then." Severus left it at that. Lupin had had his chance to admit he felt bad, and had refused. He wouldn't offer his help then.

Why not?

He looked at the clock, then back at Lupin.

Because he doesn't want it.

"Are you quite sure Potter knows when and where to show up?" Maybe the brat had reconsidered. Or simply forgotten all about it. Teenagers had in his opinion never been the proud owners of a significant attention span.

[moonyblues.livejournal.com]

"He knows," Remus said softly. "I told him myself. More than once."

Remus sits very still and tries to just beathe without moving any more than neccessary. It hurts less.

[sev-ensnared.livejournal.com]

"That should be sufficient then, one would think." He wouldn't go into how Potter seemmingly could listen very avidly and not be paying attention at all.

He kept his eyes on Lupin. The man seemed to feel genuinely bad, if not very bad. In pain even, to judge from the slightly stiffled sound of Lupin's breathing.

Finally he summoned an elf, ordered it to find Potter and then find some tea. The elf disappeared with a soft pop.

"You're quite obviously not feeling well, Lupin." He said sternly and rose, losing patience with the childish behaviour. The man should bloody well be able to ask for help, if he needed it. No matter if he would be asking Snape.

"What do you need?" He wasn't going to ask for the particulars. Lupin had knowledge enough of potions to know what he might need.

[moonyblues.livejournal.com]

"Your powers of observation...Astound." Remus sighed and took the sunglasses off, rubbing at his eyes wearily.

"I don't know. Already took a sobering potion. Or two. Seemed to make things worse. I was afraid to take anything else or try a spell. I figure it will go away on it's own, eventually."

Remus spoke very softly, almost a whisper.

[sev-ensnared.livejournal.com]

Severus looked at Lupin for a moment. Was the man mad?

"You don't remember how many you took?" He asked incredulously, as he went over to take a closer look.

Against all rationality, his fingers itched to cup Lupin's face and tilt his face up, so he could take a look at the man's eyes, get an impression of the state he was in.

And touch him... He pushed that away. It was of no significance at this moment.

Keeping his voice low, he continued. "What exactly did you indulge yourself in last night? Not even overdosing lightly on sobering potions would explain this." At least not if only alcohol was involved. He was beginning to suspect there had been more.

[moonyblues.livejournal.com]

Remus sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"I drank quite a bit. Then I drank a dose, and it was fine. Then I drank a little more and took something a friend of mine gave me. Some muggle concoction that made me...Well. Made me act a bit of an idiot, really. Very hyper. Then later I took a little more of that. Then I took another dose of the potion, hoping it would even me out a bit, but it really didn't do anything. Then, I went to bed."

He laid his head on the back of the chair.

"So just those two. Several hours apart. I used a time turner three times and apparated several times, as well."

He shook his head ruefully.

"Merlin. What a night..."

[sev-ensnared.livejournal.com]

Severus listened to Lupin silently, now convinced that the man had gone completely mad.

"It's a bloody wonder you're alive!" Severus snorted. The chance of the different components in the sobering potions interacting malevolently with whatever muggle substances Lupin had exposed his system to was... very great, and the man should've known that.

But apparently Lupin had lost his mind somewhere along the multiple timeturns, or multiple drinks. Severus was angry. Angry with Lupin for putting himself in danger like that. Angry at him for using something he had given the man, to do it. Angry at him for being a bloody idiot and finally angry at him... just because.

Who made that bite mark?

That wasn't the question he asked though. "What was in the muggle concoction?" he needed to know that to be able to assess whatever damage Lupin had done his body.

[moonyblues.livejournal.com]

Remus cracked an eye open and looked at Snape for a moment before closing it.

"You're being melodramatic, Severus."

He brought a hand to his head and rubbed it again.

"He said it was..." Remus tried to remember the names. He usually had a very good memory, but a lot of last night was kind of a blur of sex and dancing and sex and drugs and sex and...

"He said...Cocaine from...China? Something called 'riddle-in'. And 'ecstacy.' All...Mixed together."

[sev-ensnared.livejournal.com]

Severus looked sharply at Lupin, letting the names go through his mind. Potent muggle narcotics.

"Don't be so sure of my melodramatics, Lupin. I'm merely astounded at the level of ignorance you've displayed." He kept his voice low, even though he was angry still.

"I'm not quite sure you're aware of what risks you've been running. Not only did you turn time three times during one night, you also soaked your body in large quantities of alcohol, strong narcotics, nicotine, if I'm not very mistaken, and two magical potions with ingredients that mix very badly with aforementioned components. Did you even consider the possibility of that, or were you too enthralled with your excesses?"

He shook his head and went into his laboratory to find a suitable potion that would counter some of the more serious effects, muttering softly under his breath about stupid fool idiots what were going to kill themselves eventually, if they kept that up.

[moonyblues.livejournal.com]

Remus sighed. He really didn't need to be dressed down by Snape for things that really were none of the other man's business.

"Look, it'll wear off on its own. So you can spare me the help along with the admonishments."

Dammit. I shouldn't let him get to me...

[sev-ensnared.livejournal.com]

Severus heard Lupin clearly, but didn't answer. He merely sought and found the proper potion. He added a single drop of digitalis infusion to aleviate the strong chemical strain this would have had on Lupin's heart.

He looked at the vial for a moment, wondering why he even bothered. Lupin didn't want his help, obviously. And also didn't want his concern. He was tempted to just let it go. But he found that Lupin's wellbeing was more important than any such petty sentiments.

With the vial in his hand, he returned to the office and went over to the man.

He held out the vial "Drink this." If Lupin didn't want it, fine. Severus couldn't force the man after all.

[moonyblues.livejournal.com]

Remus blinked up at Snape, looking irritated. But it faded quickly into resignation.

He took the vial and drank the contents, then handed it back, his fingers brushing against Snape's as he pulled away.

Remus smiled a little up at Snape. "Thanks," he said softly. "I'm sure it will help. I really do feel very bad."

[sev-ensnared.livejournal.com]

Severus watched Lupin as the man swallowed down the fluid without hesitance.

It amazed him... and gratified him, that amount of trust placed in him by Lupin.

Sure, he prepared the wolfsbane and had always made very sure it was as perfect as could be. He had also given the man other potions over time and none of them had ever had any other effect than the one intended.

But it was trust nonetheless. Far more trust than Severus had ever placed in anybody, save maybe Dumbledore. And himself.

Lupin's fingers were warm, the light touch forcing him to actively resist the urge to follow the retreating hand with his own, to touch again...

He nodded lightly, a small wry smile curling his lips "You're welcome. As long as you promise not to repeat this particular ... experiment on another occasion."

Returning to his chair, he put down the vial on the desk and looked at Lupin, his eyes once more caught by the mark on Lupin's neck.

Well, there would probably be no use in asking. Lupin might not even remember who had given it to him.

"So, do you even remember what you went through such an effort to experience?" What could've been so damned important that Lupin had to put himself through such a physical ordeal?

[moonyblues.livejournal.com]

"I can't promise that for sure, but I will do my best not to go overboard like that again."

He shrugged and waved a hand.

"I remember it. Some is a little blurry, but only because I was quite out of it. But yes, I remember all of it. I think."

He remembered...A lot of drinking. A lot of sex. Kaycee at her apartment before they met with Creed. Kirill fucking him on the altar at Luxuria. The two of them, taking turns with Joan. Tying Charlie up in Tucker's bathroom and having their way with him. Kirill blowing him in that same bathroom, then Remus returning the favor. He might not even be recalling all of it at this moment. The drugs, the absinthe...Remus' mind flits over these things and boggles. It is a wonder he's functional today, really.

He shrugs.

"Just parties. I got invited to too many and couldn't decide which to go to...So I decided not to decide and went to all three."

[sev-ensnared.livejournal.com]

"Aha." Severus nodded "You seem to have settled into your new country and home quite well then."

Remus was obviously a person who made new friends easily. Or was it simply because it was a foreign place? Where norms and attitudes where different? That might have something to do with it, as well.

Of course, for all Severus knew, this was nothing new for Lupin.

[moonyblues.livejournal.com]

"Oh, fairly well. You know me. Mister Popularity." He rolls his eyes. "Hardly. Must be a fluke. I'm very honest about what I am, but so far, no one over there really seems to care. It's very strange. I met a woman who seemed shocked that I would have trouble finding work. It's quite different, there."

He runs a hand through his hair and smiles.

"It's not my new country. Or my new home. It's just...Getting a way a bit. This is where I belong, I know that. I could never leave, not really. I might just have to keep one foot in each place, so to speak. I admit. It's kind of nice not to be distrusted or despised for what I am. But England will always be home. Even if a lot of the people here are right prats."

[sev-ensnared.livejournal.com]

Severus wouldn't mention that it might be easier for the Americans not to be 'right prats' since they didn't have the heavy and dark threat of Voldemort hanging over their heads.

He wondered if they realised that if Britain fell, Voldemort would move on to other playgrounds.

"I can only presume it must be very liberating to live under such conditions." For a moment he even considered how it would be like, living in America himself. Or anywhere outside Britain, far enough away. Not having to worry about the next summon... or the next meeting... the next raid to prevent...

Or the next bloody potions class, even. The thought was tempting, but deep down he knew he couldn't leave. Not yet.

[moonyblues.livejournal.com]

"It's less stressful, at any rate. And I can be here just as quickly from there as I could from Grimmauld. One thing I would like, is something along the lines of that mirror that Sirius and James had in school, they could talk to each other using them, no matter where they were. I'd like some way you or Albus could contact me no matter where I was. Do you know of such a thing?"

There are times when he is out of the flat. And even though he'd be notified if someone tried to firecall him, it could take him a while to actually get back to the flat and speak to them. Having some way to communicate anywhere instantly would be far better.