Occlumency Lesson (open to Remus Lupin and Harry Potter)

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Snape was for once relaxing slightly before his mind would be taxed not only with the presence of Potter, but also the task of actually trying to teach the brat something.

He wondered if Lupin would arrive before or would meet the boy first and then they'd come here together. Not that he had anything particular to speak with him about. He simply wondered.

His night had been busy. Several herbs and roots were at their most potent strength on Beltane night and he had spent a couple of hours trekking through the Dark Forests to find them. Afterwards he had joined a small fire celebration in Hogsmeade, but had left before the people had turned too rowdy.

He had spent most of the day on storing his nightly acquisitions securely, prepared what he could for next week, hovered a bit over the Wolfsbane potion although it looked fine and had then finally removed a few memories from his mind and put them in the pensieve.

That Pensieve was now stored very securely in a locked cabinet in his bedroom. He might put a small bit of trust into Potter not repeating the mistake, but better safe than sorry.

Watching the flames dance lightly, Snape could only wait for Lupin and Potter.

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[sev-ensnared.livejournal.com]

Severus watched Lupin as the man swallowed down the fluid without hesitance.

It amazed him... and gratified him, that amount of trust placed in him by Lupin.

Sure, he prepared the wolfsbane and had always made very sure it was as perfect as could be. He had also given the man other potions over time and none of them had ever had any other effect than the one intended.

But it was trust nonetheless. Far more trust than Severus had ever placed in anybody, save maybe Dumbledore. And himself.

Lupin's fingers were warm, the light touch forcing him to actively resist the urge to follow the retreating hand with his own, to touch again...

He nodded lightly, a small wry smile curling his lips "You're welcome. As long as you promise not to repeat this particular ... experiment on another occasion."

Returning to his chair, he put down the vial on the desk and looked at Lupin, his eyes once more caught by the mark on Lupin's neck.

Well, there would probably be no use in asking. Lupin might not even remember who had given it to him.

"So, do you even remember what you went through such an effort to experience?" What could've been so damned important that Lupin had to put himself through such a physical ordeal?

[moonyblues.livejournal.com]

"I can't promise that for sure, but I will do my best not to go overboard like that again."

He shrugged and waved a hand.

"I remember it. Some is a little blurry, but only because I was quite out of it. But yes, I remember all of it. I think."

He remembered...A lot of drinking. A lot of sex. Kaycee at her apartment before they met with Creed. Kirill fucking him on the altar at Luxuria. The two of them, taking turns with Joan. Tying Charlie up in Tucker's bathroom and having their way with him. Kirill blowing him in that same bathroom, then Remus returning the favor. He might not even be recalling all of it at this moment. The drugs, the absinthe...Remus' mind flits over these things and boggles. It is a wonder he's functional today, really.

He shrugs.

"Just parties. I got invited to too many and couldn't decide which to go to...So I decided not to decide and went to all three."

[sev-ensnared.livejournal.com]

"Aha." Severus nodded "You seem to have settled into your new country and home quite well then."

Remus was obviously a person who made new friends easily. Or was it simply because it was a foreign place? Where norms and attitudes where different? That might have something to do with it, as well.

Of course, for all Severus knew, this was nothing new for Lupin.

[moonyblues.livejournal.com]

"Oh, fairly well. You know me. Mister Popularity." He rolls his eyes. "Hardly. Must be a fluke. I'm very honest about what I am, but so far, no one over there really seems to care. It's very strange. I met a woman who seemed shocked that I would have trouble finding work. It's quite different, there."

He runs a hand through his hair and smiles.

"It's not my new country. Or my new home. It's just...Getting a way a bit. This is where I belong, I know that. I could never leave, not really. I might just have to keep one foot in each place, so to speak. I admit. It's kind of nice not to be distrusted or despised for what I am. But England will always be home. Even if a lot of the people here are right prats."

[sev-ensnared.livejournal.com]

Severus wouldn't mention that it might be easier for the Americans not to be 'right prats' since they didn't have the heavy and dark threat of Voldemort hanging over their heads.

He wondered if they realised that if Britain fell, Voldemort would move on to other playgrounds.

"I can only presume it must be very liberating to live under such conditions." For a moment he even considered how it would be like, living in America himself. Or anywhere outside Britain, far enough away. Not having to worry about the next summon... or the next meeting... the next raid to prevent...

Or the next bloody potions class, even. The thought was tempting, but deep down he knew he couldn't leave. Not yet.

[moonyblues.livejournal.com]

"It's less stressful, at any rate. And I can be here just as quickly from there as I could from Grimmauld. One thing I would like, is something along the lines of that mirror that Sirius and James had in school, they could talk to each other using them, no matter where they were. I'd like some way you or Albus could contact me no matter where I was. Do you know of such a thing?"

There are times when he is out of the flat. And even though he'd be notified if someone tried to firecall him, it could take him a while to actually get back to the flat and speak to them. Having some way to communicate anywhere instantly would be far better.

[sev-ensnared.livejournal.com]

Severus quirked an eyebrow slightly at Lupin's suggestion, then nodded.

"That should be possible to find. Or create, if necessary." He would not put any importance into the fact that Lupin had mentioned him before Dumbledore. There was no point in that.

"I'll discuss it with Dumbledore. He would know where to find such things." Severus suspected the Headmaster would send him out to find it himself... and then tell him to keep it.

[moonyblues.livejournal.com]

Remus smiled and nodded.

"Good. Good."

He won't wonder why he wants it to be Snape that he keeps in contact with. Not right now.

"I'm starting to think Harry forgot."

[sev-ensnared.livejournal.com]

"Potter might have reconsidered his decision." He had given Potter this chance and the boy had not only wasted that chance, but had also made Lupin come here for nothing. Convince him for nothing.

He wasn't going to elaborate upon how inconsiderate and thoughtless the brat often seemed. Lupin wouldn't agree and Severus had no wish to discuss the finer points of Potter's general attitude problems.

At that moment, a slightly gibbering house elf appeared next to Severus and hurriedly, nervously informed the Professor, that he couldn't find Mr. Potter. But there was tea. Which the elf put on the desk and left again.

"Hm... Well, would you care for a cup of tea, since there won't be any Occlumency lesson tonight?"

[moonyblues.livejournal.com]

"I can't believe I went to all of this trouble, bothering you, convincing you, and he didn't even show up. I hope..."

And now he couldnt help but worry.

"I hope nothing has happened to him."

But, even Remus knew it was probably just that he forgot. Or changed his mind.

"Something better have happened to him, come to think," he growled softly, then relented. He sighed and ran his hand through his hair again. "No, no. I don't mean that."

Remus nodded at Snape.

"Sure, tea would be fine."

He smiled wryly.

"Maybe you could teach me, since your student didn't show."

[sev-ensnared.livejournal.com]

The growl... it sent a small shiver down Severus' spine before he could prevent it. But once again, it wasn't at all connected to the times where he had heard a more feral and hungry edition of it. No... it was a very different connotation that flitted across Severus' mind.

And not one he should linger on too much right now.

He finally nodded and set out to pour tea for them both. He glanced at Lupin, an eyebrow arching a bit more sharply as he spoke.

"I hardly think you would want me in your head, Lupin." He smirked faintly, even though he was aware his voice had dropped faintly without true intent.

Although, it was tempting, the thought of taking a look into Lupin's mind... see his thoughts, his memories...

Pry?

He set down the pot and handed over the cup to Lupin as he continued "And it would take some preparation on your side, to make full use of such a lesson. And even if you had prepared, you're not quite in a state where something like that would be advisable."¨

He wasn't contemplating teaching Lupin, was he? Well, the man had hardly been serious, Severus figured.

[moonyblues.livejournal.com]

Remus smiled and shrugged.

"No, I probably wouldn't want you in my head, come to think. It's a fairly scary place, when it comes right down to it. Besides, there might be things in there that I don't want you to know."

He looked at Snape intently for a moment before looking away.

"I have no affinity for those things, anyway. I'd be a hopeless student. I would just frustrate you no end..."

He smiled sweetly at the other man.

[sev-ensnared.livejournal.com]

Severus chuckled lightly, amused, but also liking that smile more than he cared to admit. "And just how would that be different from normal?"

But he agreed. Lupin had as far as he knew never shown interest in mind spells of any kind.

He was also fairly sure there were several things he had no wish to see.

But you'd like to take a look anyway, wouldn't you?

"As it is though, you would be able to take out memories you wish to keep private before embarking on such a lesson." Surely Lupin knew of pensieves.

[moonyblues.livejournal.com]

Remus chuckled lightly and drummed his fingers on the desk.

"It wouldn't, I guess. I do try to annoy you as often as possible, but never seem to get anywhere."

He smiled wider and narrowed his eyes.

"Wouldn't removing memories, using a pensieve or whatnot, be cheating? Wouldn't one of the motivations to do well be the fear of someone seeing something you might not wish them to? Without that..." He shrugged. "I don't see the reason to put a lot of effort into it. Nothing to lose, after all."

[sev-ensnared.livejournal.com]

"True, but much to gain in making an effort. You will not always have access to a pensieve, and expecting such times, might be incentive enough." Knowledge was always worth an effort.

"Fear is rarely a productive motivation, since it tends to cloud other perceptions of a situation, than the basic cause of that fear and the instant removal of the threat. And sometimes you can make the mistake of focusing only on those few memories you remember you don't want to share, potentially forgetting other memories, that might even be more volatile in the hands of somebody else..." A small smirk formed on his lips.

"Additionally, afterwards, you might find it difficult to remember the actual details of the situation. Details that might be helpful another time. To prevent a repeat."

Why was he trying to convince Lupin of this?

"Of course, in a more casual setting as this one, when gaining knowledge isn't the main reason for the exercise, one could see it differently. Then it would take on the character of a wager... a competition." Which Lupin would lose. That didn't prevent a light touch of challenge in his voice and eyes as he looked into Lupin's eyes.

[moonyblues.livejournal.com]

"I've generally found fear to be a very good motivator, actually. At least, it seems so in my situation. If it weren't I think I'd be able to get a job. There wouldn't be so many regulations. I guess it depends on if the fear is of the sudden, all-consuming type, or the less sharp, pervasive type. Anyway."

Remus smiled slightly at Snape, a bit bemused.

"Not much of a competition, considering you are a master at such things and I have no skill at all. You'd throttle me with no effort at all. Hardly something I'd volunteer for. It might be something worthwhile for me to try to learn, though. After all, I do process all of the Order's reports. I may seem like a paper-pusher, but if I were to be captured...Voldemort would get an awful lot of information. Assuming he wouldn't just kill me outright, which I think is a safe assumption. I'm sure he could find more worthwhile ways to use someone like me."

The thought filled him with dread. Being kept alive and used as an executioner on full moons. It was his deepest fear.

[sev-ensnared.livejournal.com]

Remus' words coiled icily inside him and the smirk faded, his expression turning serious. The thought of Voldemort not only getting his fingers on the man, using his knowledge of all the Order members, of Severus, but also finding other uses for him... That thought was chilling.

He had a fairly good idea of what The Dark Lord would use Lupin for. And the darkness that he saw flitting across the man's eyes and features indicated that so did Lupin.

Severus looking intently at him. "Think about it. I see no reason why you shouldn't be able to learn it." Even with only rudimentary Occlumency skills, Lupin would be able to fool them, or at leat hold them out of his mind for a bit. Maybe long enough. But it was Severus' job to prevent Lupin from being taken in the first place, and he planned on doing his job very well. Very well indeed.

[moonyblues.livejournal.com]

"I..." He looked to Snape and then to the desk, fidgeting a bit with his fingers.

"I would be willing to try. Sure. If you're sure you're willing to teach me. I know your time is valuable...I take up too much of it with the Wolfsbane and such as it is."

Remus couldn't deny he'd like the opportunity to learn. And to be around Snape. But he'd not take the other man's knowlegde for granted and use it for his own personal reasons. That wouldn't be right.

[sev-ensnared.livejournal.com]

"Of course I would be willing to teach you, else I wouldn't have asked you to think about it."

Severus saw no problem in spending more of his time on Lupin.

Or with him? Yes, he could admit that. The thought of spending time with Lupin was ... appealing.

"But it would mean dedication from you. You know how I teach and what I expect of my students." The smirk returned to his lips. He hadn't expected Lupin to actually consider taking Occlumency lessons and he was pleased. More pleased than he could let Lupin know.

Why?

[moonyblues.livejournal.com]

Remus smiled wryly at Snape. "I know what you expect of your students. Who do you think they complained to, when I taught here? I would do my best. I would hate to not, ermmm, measure up? But you would, of course, need to be gentle with me, at first."

Remus smiled wider at Snape, letting a little flirtyness creep into his tone.

[sev-ensnared.livejournal.com]

Severus' eyebrow quirked faintly at Lupin's tone. He was reminded of their firecall conversation, the difference now only being that he as actually in the same room as the man. And could see him clearly and not through orange flames.

"I hadn't thought you would want gentle treatment, but as you wish." He knew his own voice had dipped slightly. But the temptation of Lupin's voice as too strong to resist.

Is it only his voice, Severus?

"I shall curb my ... demands on you. At first." He wasn't quite sure those demands would restrict themselves only to scolarly fields of interest. Not necessarily, at least.

[moonyblues.livejournal.com]

Remus laughed a little and cocked his head.

"Now why would you think I wouldn't want gentle treatment?" His voice purred slightly.

"Don't curb anything. I like you just the way you are, Severus."

[sev-ensnared.livejournal.com]

"Call it an ... educated guess, shall we?" That voice... there was definitely more than normal teasing in it. Quite a lot more, when also judging by the expression on Lupin's face.

He found his own tone matching that of Lupin's, but wasn't surprised by that "Well then, you will have to choose, if you really want me to stay true to my character. I'm not a gentle person by nature, as you probably know only too well." Not that he couldn't be gentle when the situation called for it. He just wasn't convinced this was such a situation.

[moonyblues.livejournal.com]

Now Remus was starting to wonder what was going on. Sure, he'd told Snape he liked men, but he'd never said anything about liking it rough.

And, boy did he like it rough. Remus smiled a little bit, recalling him and Kirill and the scratching, biting...

Biting...

Oh, fuck.

"Oh, fuck."

He moves his hand to his neck and feels what must be an extremely noticeable bite mark still there. It had been deep and hadn't healed yet. And he'd worn it here, seemingly on purpose. But he had forgotten, he'd woken late and been so obsessed with not being late...

Remus stares at Snape, openmouthed, obviously shocked that he'd forgotten, not knowing what to say.

"I...Uhmm. I..."

[sev-ensnared.livejournal.com]

Sadly, Lupin's realisation of just how visible that mark on his neck was, seemed to have changed the mood of their conversation.

Well, it had left Lupin at a loss for words at any rate. Which was amusing in itself. Severus smirked, leaning slightly back in his seat.

"You what, Lupin?" He purred.